Maria Thomas

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Maria Thomas

Maria Thomas

@AppleWriter

WINNER @oxfordflash,2nd Propelling Pencil 22; flash finalist @LIStoryPrize 22; winner RW April 22 micro & FFF13 . Member @retreatwest and @writershq communities

Beigetreten Ekim 2021
2.5K Folgt2.2K Follower
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Outback Steakhouse
Outback Steakhouse@Outback·
Our thoughts are with our mates at KitKat as they navigate this unexpected and difficult time. In completely unrelated news: Introducing the NEW Bloomin’ KitKat. just $1 while supplies are, um… abundant.
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dan barker
dan barker@danbarker·
I wouldn't be surprised if those KitKats turn up on Orkney.
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Dr. Jebra Faushay
Dr. Jebra Faushay@JebraFaushay·
I thought my adult life would have more disco in it. I’m hugely disappointed.
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Eric Alper 🎧
Eric Alper 🎧@ThatEricAlper·
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Nicki 🫧🪷
Nicki 🫧🪷@nickimoraa·
Dear Millennial Little Sisters, As you approach perimenopause, please reach out to us because our moms didn’t tell us shit either but we’ve been yelling at doctors for 15 years and found out some stuff. xoxo - Gen X
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The Figen
The Figen@TheFigen_·
26-year-old Polish guitar virtuoso Marcin Patrzałek responds to those claiming his music is fake. He created this tutorial-style video to show exactly how he plays so incredibly well – and yes, it’s all performed live on a single guitar. He is incredible! 👌👌
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🇺🇸Lady Vet
🇺🇸Lady Vet@CoVet_81·
This might be the funniest video I’ve seen in a long time! I was not ready for that at all 😂 Facebutt Marketplace is a goat screw at times, and this is exhibit A.
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Mappers
Mappers@CarolMaps·
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Punt Road
Punt Road@punt_rd·
Guitar solos re so overrated. What ‘Hotel California’ needs is a bassoon solo, right!?
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Jennifer 🟥🔴🧙‍♀️🦉🐈‍⬛ 🦖
The KitKat reply thread part 2! In case you missed it, 12 tons of KitKats have been stolen and social media managers have been brilliant in reply!!! I am NEVER leaving this app! Scroll through to the end of this thread to see who I think did it! It wasn’t Pizza Hut! 1/
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Rothmus 🏴
Rothmus 🏴@Rothmus·
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James Casserly
James Casserly@Casserly_Rock·
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Russell
Russell@ATLCWorker·
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Sandy Petersen 🪔
Sandy Petersen 🪔@SandyofCthulhu·
We have gigantic creatures in the sea which can sing for hours and have arteries so big you can crawl through them. (whales) We have birds that fly 50,000 miles every year. From the antarctic to the arctic and back again. (arctic tern) We have living creatures which never get old and never die naturally. (jellyfish) We have animals which you can force through a sieve, and they can reassemble themselves. (sponges) We have an ancient line of animals which once had 30 or more successful species, and has gone extinct down to just one single representative, and that representative has conquered the entire world (us). We have horrors that look just like rocks and if you step on them your whole world becomes agonizing pain. (toadfish) We have animals who hide inside other animals, and when you eat that animal, they enter your intestines and live there. (tapeworms) We have plants which live on other plants and never touch the ground. There's a fruit tree that grows around another tree, and eventually kills and replaces it. (strangler fig) We have gliding lizards, marsupials, snakes, frogs, and rodents. What the heck do you need fairies for?
@yducknow

what a boring planet… no fairies, no elves, no mermaids, no dragons, no vampires, no ware wolves….. just bills, stress, gossip, and insufferable people

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Jennifer 🟥🔴🧙‍♀️🦉🐈‍⬛ 🦖
Some days you can’t love social media enough. This is one of those days. It began like this. Someone stole 12 tons of KitKats. And then the replies started coming in. Scroll down.
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Janel Comeau 🍁
Janel Comeau 🍁@VeryBadLlama·
I have stolen 12T of KitKats that were in transit and which you were probably hoping to buy in Poland forgive me the world is stressful and I needed a break
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