@lights My boss really likes playing the lamest, cheesiest, worst music you can imagine on her computer while working. The worst part is? My girlfriend's developing the same taste in music 🎶
@lights "I tell you, it's not easy going to the dentist every month." "Gee Ken, are your teeth that bad?" "Naw, I just like hearing how my dentist's new swimming pool is coming along. Sure it's just a coincidence" 😉
@lights For yrs the food industry's been cutting back so much salt in processed foods & canned goods, I'm starting to look like that 'salt creature' from Star Trek 😶🌫️
@lights "Your Honour, I have irrefutable proof that the defendant is guilty of all charges against him on this flash drive, which I now present to the court… *Ooops!* That's my chap stick. Sorry your Honour"
@lights I bought my daughter a teddy bear today, and she decided to call it "50 Cent". 'Oh, after the famous rapper?' No, that was how much it cost at the garage sale I got it from. I forgot to remove the price tag :'p
"Sean walked up to the beach, away from the jeers, until he found a private place. He slipped off his short pants and shirt and put on the evening sarong, padded bra, belt, stockings and combed his hair and put on makeup. Carefully, very carefully. And then the girl stood up..."
@lights Thank You For Replying To My Question!!! I stopped posting my jokes because I...thought...I FELT...you'd grown tired of them, forgotten...and I never got any acknowledgement of them. Ever. You've renewed my confidence in you again. Bless you 😌