Joanna Borns

love 2 order girl scout cookies

It finally happened. I saw a shirt I really wanted and it was for dogs.

But also maybe I'll be safe when the singularity comes

I chose the worst possible handle for someone who doesn't want to interact with AI bros.

I would only sell this handle for seven figures

I wrote some helpful nutrition advice

Just chugged buncha seed oil

I'm on bluesky. Idk

The haters said I'd never post another stranger's diary video but youtu.be/qu69KO-lOeg

Did it hurt? When Moo Deng bit you?

Is it bad that the guy making my chipotle called me a "trooper" because of my order?

I have a very particular set of skills. (Seeing food spilled on the sidewalk and knowing with 100% certainty when it's Chipotle)

I love being in a loud restaurant with bad acoustics because you can say "yum yum yum" out loud and no one will hear you.

I just saw a woman walking down the street with green hair and a black and white striped shirt. Was she going for Beetlejuice or did she have no idea? It kills me that I will never know.

I help my community all the time. I hit one spotted lantern fly with my car.

A chicken? Oh, you mean egg mommy.

After a day at the beach I expect to look like a sexy, windswept swimsuit model but I just look like someone who went through a difficult experience.

The Seine? Ohhhhh you mean Poop River.

Been getting a lot of mileage out of the barf emoji lately

Today I heard a gen Z say "like studio 54 in the 80s" and it was a stark reminder that younger generations weren't forced to get a cultural education from VH1 at 11 years old.

"Let’s get down to the facts. Four out of five doctors think that you’re repulsive." mcsweeneys.net/articles/intro…