Amber

white boy wednesday is canceled this week. you guys need to learn how to act right

you’re not supposed to do it for the benefits

Telling me beer is liquid bread like it’s a bad thing, bread in a can brother pour me a slice, bring over the peanut butter. let’s drop a toaster into the bathtub I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. No I’m fine, really. Also here are my most cherished items

you’re not supposed to do it for the benefits

Not now kitten, daddy is identifying 5 things he can see, 4 things he can touch, 3 things he can hear, 2 things he can smell, and 1 thing he can taste

Not now kitten, daddy’s making a pros and cons list for being alive

//vent art i can’t sleep

everyone who got pink pilates princess in their spotify wrapped

Have you ever tried.. this one?

last look i give my wife after she adds unnecessary sex scenes to our marriage and ruins it

That’s amazing can I get a bud light please

GO TO AN EMPTY BAR. DRINK ALONE. HATE YOUR LIFE. BE MISERABLE. BE A MAN

hatsune meatku