Annie Collier

Y’all ever find your cat staring at you judgementally and you just yell back “what?? I can do whatever I want!”

Haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in days cause the corn song is perpetually stuck in my head #ithasthejuice

I haven’t tweeted in over a year but I thought it was important to mention my arm is sore from playing big buck hunter @DaveandBusters

I guess being in your 30s means your late night internet shopping is based solely around specialty mayonnaise....... right?

I’m in love 💛 @ South Philadelphia instagram.com/p/CNagUkej5Dm/…

Haven’t tweeted in a long time, but my mother just told me she went to the eye doctor cause her eye was swollen and irritated for three days. They found a piece of cheese in her eye.

💫🎈Happiest Bday wishes to my baby girl @arrahandthefrns 🎂🎈You may now be a mother, have a super serious job, and live in the country, but you will always be a tequila chugging, worm dancing, nasty ass hoe to me💞 instagram.com/p/CEcEHDJjbyI/…

If you Yelp, you’re an asshole. If you Yelp in the middle of a pandemic, you are toxic trash material that needs to walk into oncoming traffic.

🎉It’s my favorite guy’s birthday! 🎉💞Thank you for being the most fun partner to experience life with. Tubs and I wouldn’t have it any other way ❤️ (The last pic kills me) instagram.com/p/CB_BXxjjBgk/…

My mom just asked “can I play the Spotify on my google?” And I don’t even know how to respond to that.

Harrison Ford is 77 years old. That’s all.

Our new plant babies are such lil cuties 🌺🌞🌿💞🌼🥰🌸☀️ @ Down South Philly instagram.com/p/CAnuDoAjM4I/…

I may be quarantined on my patio, but my heart is in the Italian market eating corn on a stick and drinking from a pineapple while I watch a bunch of grown men climb a greased poll for gourmet meats and cheeses.… instagram.com/p/CAQgAPKj0bd/…

Someone on my Instagram feed just posted a picture of a Christmas tree and I actually thought it might be Christmas time

My bf woke me up from a deep sleep to feed me a piece of freshly baked buttermilk biscuit he made from scratch and ok as I’m typing it I realize that was actually pretty tight.

“Too hot to handle” sponsored by: under boob

I’m a terrible pet parent and forgot that my precious angel, Tubs the cat, turned 1️⃣0️⃣ two days ago 🎉🎂 I cant believe I’ve had this lil bitch for a decade now🙀While she’s generally pretty evil, she’s also the… instagram.com/p/B_QIh_QjB-N/…

🌿😺🌿 @ Good ol South Philly instagram.com/p/B_QGbi8jaO0/…

My boyfriend just tried to wipe dirt off of my face that is actually a pimple I picked at. Pretty offended that we spend every minute together and he can’t even differentiate my face dirt from my acne scarring.

Will saw a commercial for “bachelor listen to your heart” and demanded we watch it. Started the first ep and as they’re discussing the premise he goes “I think I’m out.” WE ARE WATCHING THIS, DUDE.