BarelyAdventist

Ahhh… Adventist romance…

@hosun_chung What are big churches in Dubai. Is there hillsong there

Naval Ravikant just exposed medicine's darkest secret. Doctors REPEATEDLY misdiagnosed him. So he spent years researching why. What he discovered about Big Pharma, insurance, & chronic conditions will blow your mind. The shocking truth he just revealed on Modern Wisdom:

The group hug doctrine, dubbed “Fundamental Belief 1: Squeeze Tight,” passed with a 98% approval rate after a two-hour debate that mostly involved passing around a ukulele and a kale smoothie. barelyadventist.com/2025/03/18/cal…

“I’m not here to endorse Moderna, mandates, or anything that comes with a QR code and a side effect list longer than Leviticus,” Vine said in a statement, holding up a dog-eared copy of The Great Controversy for emphasis. READ MORE barelyadventist.com/2025/02/26/vin…

Donald Trump’s latest AI-generated video unveiled a towering golden statue of himself in a glitzy, reimagined Gaza Strip—and demanded that everyone worship it. “Bow down, folks! It’s tremendous, it’s huge—worship it or you’re out!” barelyadventist.com/2025/02/27/tru…

The subject line, “Sabbath Pulse Check,” instructed members to submit five bullet points by Monday midnight, cc’ing their local pastors, with a stern warning: “No reply equals no potluck privileges.” READ MORE barelyadventist.com/2025/02/24/gc-…

GC Session Entirely Dedicated to Generating List of Sabbath-Approved Cartoons What should make the list? barelyadventist.com/next-gc-sessio…

Pastors Forbidden From Driving “Politically Polarizing” Priuses or Pickups During Election Season barelyadventist.com/pastors-forbid…

Everybody panic!!! barelyadventist.com/adventist-town…

GC Recommends Extra Long Skirts for Maximum Modesty During Time of Trouble barelyadventist.com/gc-recommends-…

7 Reasons to Lay Off Pastor’s Kids barelyadventist.com/7-reasons-to-l…

Family Excited to be Missionaries Wherever Jesus Leads - as Long as it’s in Hawaii barelyadventist.com/family-excited…

Survey: Most Adventists Don't Actually Know What They Believe (But They're Sure Everyone Else is Wrong) barelyadventist.com/survey-most-ad…

Top 5 Signs You’re More Belshazzar Than You Think (Spoiler Alert: We All Are a Little Bit) barelyadventist.com/top-5-signs-yo…

In a groundbreaking theological discovery, a local Adventist church has unveiled a revolutionary approach to faith: ditch the doctrine, embrace the feels! READ MORE barelyadventist.com/local-church-d…

Attempting to pitch old school liberal Adventist views to today’s young Adventists is a bit like trying to convince them that dial-up internet is the future of connectivity. It’s a tough sell, and here’s why. barelyadventist.com/why-old-school…

Start filling up that baptismal tank barelyadventist.com/new-rule-adven…

Adventist culprits barelyadventist.com/burger-king-to…