Small Body Big Engine🐼🪄💻

niggas be named james n it be one nigga

Hands down you're the funniest entertainer bro! 😂😂😂🙏🏽🔥

Muuzeni Emmie Deebo Ali Olandilidwa Ku Get Money Clique 💰Records… Ma Conditions; (1) Ma Video Ake Tizikapanga Shoot Kunja. (2) Room Yogona Kunjako Uzikagona Room Imodzi Ndi The Biggest Mkulukuta Hip Hop. Uku Ndikuchepetsa Budget Ya Ndalama Za Malo Ogona.

Can’t this mfkers align themselves as per their height? This shit is disturbing

😂😂😂😂😂😂

This is why I’m still here.

Yesterday, I called someone to enquire where I could find diesel, which is now very scarce in Blantyre. I had seen the long queues. After some minutes, he told me to go to a filling station in Limbe asap. In such situations, I usually send my driver because I hate the whole hustle and tussle, the endless queuing for hours. But he said, “Hurry up, you will not take long. Just make sure you are here within the next 15 minutes.” And indeed, in under 15 minutes, I was there. I was desperate because my fuel light was on and I barely had 21km remaining. When I arrived, I called him and he said, “Just come to the front. Don’t join the queue.” Now, I find that quite uncomfortable. Not necessarily because it is dishonest, but because I never want to find myself in a situation where people surround my car and start shouting at me to go back to the line. I would never want to be involved in a public exchange of words, let alone a fight with anyone. But let me be honest here, the real reason is that if I was on a line and someone jumped it, I would cause so much chaos and they would not fuel. So what if there was someone like me on that line? And the good Lord says in the Bible, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So I stopped at the very back of the line. It was quite long. I told him I was not ready to jump the queue. He came and said, “Boss, apapa mukakhala kunoko simuthila. Pabwera 3,500 litres yokha. Let me drive.” I moved to the back seat. He drove my car all the way to the front. But what struck me, and what makes me write this piece, is how confidently he responded to those asking, “What’s going on?” “Aise, ya bwana wathu iyi. Usayankhulenso.” And the others would simply respond, “Ndakumva,” and keep quiet. Inside the filling station, from the guard to the fuel attendant, they all kept saying, “Ya bwana wathu iyi.” In less than ten minutes, I had my full tank which cost MK456,250. Such an exorbitant figure. A year ago, a full tank would cost around MK250,000. That was before the Prof was brought back to the echelons of power after five years of civilian life. To be honest with you, I initially wanted to fuel worth MK200,000, but when I thought about the hustle of looking for fuel again, I squeezed myself and filled the tank. At the end, I was asked to add an extra MK20,000 for the guys, which I happily paid. And that is when it hit me that all that “bwana wathu awa” came at the cost of 20K. Again, let me be honest, it is not like I did not know money would have to exchange hands at the end. I only thought it would be more than 20K. As I drove home, I wondered if corruption will ever end. Corruption thrives on broken systems. You go to Road Traffic and the system is down. You wait for hours, sometimes days. Then someone quietly tells you, “Bwana, if you want, it can happen today, but you will need to pay something.” And just like that, you pay because you are tired of waiting. The brokenness of the system is by design. It is so normalised and institutionalised that people no longer even see it as corruption. And if the big man is corrupt, the small boys at a filling station will be too. By “big man,” I mean the Prof. Didn’t he allegedly use his TPIN to buy cement fraudulently amongst other allegations of corruption? But we still voted him back into power because we have become numb to corruption. Anyway, story for another day. Enjoy your day!

Try to avoid work colleagues knowing too much about your personal life.

Gentlemen, please make sure you always condomize when you are engaging in sex. It shouldn’t matter whether she is your girlfriend or not, always condomize. The majority of our peers from the other gender are moving recklessly. Stay protected, we have a country to save in a few!

Humble pie?

“Why argue with an Arsenal fan when you can just wait” Ehhh kankandiwawa

I swear imma make It and when I do, they're gunna show this tweet lol

I’m calling all Drake Haters Janice from now on 🙂‍↕️😂😂🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

You deserve more Arsenal fans 💔

Pena ndimangobwera pano kuzatenga ma screenshot oti ndikayike pa WhatsApp status 😂😂

Talking bout treating everyone equal and shid 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Kumavala ma boxer ndi ma pant olongosoka, tsiku la ngozi silimapanganika🥱

Koditu anthu amakhala ndi ma plan pa ndalama zawo nde osamakwiya akati alibe..

@cb_doge The woke mind virus killed my son

A real brother would’ve given him the money privately and let him surprise his own girlfriend