luke

Begging on my knees to get into idiot loser heaven but the angels keep shaking their heads and telling me I’m going to hell

You can’t spell TWINK without TWINNNNNNN

Round two in the penis explosion chamber let’s go

Son, there’s a day you’ll stop being a boy, and become a man. That bussy of yours will blossom into a mussy, and there’s nothing you can do about it

I’m naming my first daughter Clarity and my first son Evil. After that who knows

You aren’t the best dressed person in this bar, bro. You’re not even the best dressed person waiting outside this women’s restroom for no one in particular!

Every time I have pancakes and someone asks me if I want syrup, I’m like sureyup! Haha, anyways guys drop a follow for more jokes like this

Evil Army General: Hawktuahtron, state your prime directive. Hawktuahtron: *bzzr-zerp* SPIT. ON. THAT. THANG. Imprisoned, balding scientist: dear god, what have we done?!

Mexican ghost kitchen where instead of guacamole they call it huaktuahmole

When I’m drunk and on the phone it’s like I’m literally in the phone world

Pulling back my foreskin like turning over a damp log, lots of worms and flies and friends under there

Sorry officer, I’m confused, are you upset about the drinking part or the driving part?

Grown man just said, “i have a game, it’s like Pictionary” then proceeded to do charades pretending to be Hellen Keller

Drake is Taylor Swift for boys

The 78th Super Bowl (LXXVII) will be between the California Edgers and the New England Gooners. This came to me in a vision

An alcohol problem? This is an alcohol solution.

so i've been collecting little bits of queer street art and graffiti and so on (trust me this definition will get stretched) so i thought it might be fun to collate them into a thread and top it up periodically:

Call my cock and balls a charcuterie board the way it’s all meat and cheese

@Wendigoon8 @WaffleHouse Get back to Alan Wake bro

Brb gunna drink until I forget