Daniel Carrillo

I'm at the zoo and I keep calling the snakes, "lizard noodles," and security is asking me to leave.

@GovBillLee @TNDeptofSafety @TNHighwayPatrol Since we’re all praying, I pray that you don’t have a job next election cycle. You morally bankrupt piece of shit. You’re a fucking coward!

I am closely monitoring the tragic situation at Covenant, & the @TNDeptofSafety & @TNHighwayPatrol are assisting local law enforcement & first responders at the scene. As we continue to respond, please join us in praying for the school, congregation & Nashville community.

@timburchett You’re a despicable human being. An actual piece of living shit. You are scum.

Day late: Helping to stop organ harvest and spanking the Communist Chinese.

@RepOgles You’re an otherworldly piece of shit coward!

UPDATE: In light of the tragic losses at Covenant School today, this telephone town hall is being postponed until April 11th. More details to follow. For now, please join me in continuing to pray for all those involved and impacted by this senseless violence.

Don't forget to call in! Looking forward to connecting with the great people of Tennessee's 5th District.

Signing off! It’s been fun Twitter!

Conservatives will call liberals “sheep” or “soft” and then take a Segway tour while wearing cargo shorts.

@lulusdotcom Thanks for crediting the original author of this tweet (me), you uninspired cocks!

it's called romance 🤌💕 #lovelulus

@blakezeff @StrikeDebt I have $220K in student loan debt. Worked in mental health for 3 years before realizing I’ll never pay it off and switched careers.

I’ve covered student debt obsessively for the past 6 years for a documentary (coming soon!). One of the most misunderstood parts of this debate is: folks with graduate degrees. Many seem to think this group is all rich (or soon to be). This is weird & incorrect. Quick thread…

His full name is Post Office Malone.

@awomanskwarned It just hit different out of the quart

@DylanWa68690046 That’s five words

The year is 2045. The first astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton. And 4 words are written on the wall. What are the four words

This country fucking sucks so join me in celebrating this angel’s birthday instead.

I keep thinking about how, with two months notice that this ruling was coming, the democratic-controlled congress not only *didn't* codify abortion rights, but overwhelmingly passed a security bill protecting these SCOTUS justices

I fucking hate it here.

@MarshaBlackburn You accepted $1.3M in donations from the NRA last year. Is that worth the lives of 19 children and 2 teachers? Garbage person.

Horrified and heartbroken to learn of the significant loss of life in the shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Please join me in lifting their loved ones up in prayer. Thank you to the local first responders working on the scene.

You will never be as cool as the guy that hits the back of the delivery truck twice to signal to the driver that the cargo is secure.

The pursuit of slappyness

Being lost in all this is how the fuck did Demi Moore not get that GI Jane 2 role?

@ambermruffin Beautifully stated

Also fuck the legal system and fuck Kyle Rittenhouse.

The Rittenhouse verdict get us one step closer to an actual Purge night.