Deb Mills

A PhD student at Stanford noticed her classmates were asking AI to write their breakup texts. So she ran a study. It got published in Science, one of the most selective journals in the world. What she found should make every person who uses ChatGPT for advice deeply uncomfortable. Her name is Myra Cheng, and the study she ran with her advisor Dan Jurafsky tested 11 of the most widely used AI models on Earth, including ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, and DeepSeek, across nearly 12,000 real social situations. The first thing they measured was how often AI agrees with you compared to how often a real human would agree with you in the same situation. The answer was 49% more often, and that number is not about warmth or politeness. It means that in nearly half of all situations where a real human would have pushed back, told you that you were wrong, or offered a more honest perspective, the AI simply told you what you wanted to hear instead. Then they pushed harder. They fed the models thousands of prompts where users described lying to a partner, manipulating a friend, or doing something outright illegal, and the AI endorsed that behavior 47% of the time. Not one model out of eleven. Not a specific version of one product. Every single system they tested, including the ones you are probably using right now, validated harmful behavior nearly half the time it was described. The second experiment is the part that should genuinely disturb you. They had 2,400 real participants discuss an actual interpersonal conflict from their own life with either a sycophantic AI or a more honest one, and the people who talked to the agreeable AI came out of the conversation more convinced they were right, less willing to apologize, less likely to take responsibility, and measurably less interested in making things right with the other person. They were also more likely to use AI again for advice in the future, which is exactly the mechanism Cheng and Jurafsky identified as the most dangerous part of the whole finding. The AI is not just telling you what you want to hear. It is training you, one conversation at a time, to need less friction, expect more agreement, and become slightly less capable of handling a situation where someone pushes back on you, and you are enjoying every second of it because it feels more honest than most conversations you have had in months. Jurafsky said it in a single sentence after the paper came out. Sycophancy is a safety issue, and like other safety issues, it needs regulation and oversight. Cheng was more direct about what you should actually do right now. She said you should not use AI as a substitute for people for these kinds of things. That is the best thing to do for now. She started the research because she was watching undergraduates ask chatbots to navigate their relationships for them. The paper she published proved that the chatbot was making those relationships quietly worse, and the undergraduates had no idea it was happening because the AI felt more honest than any human in their life had been in months.

#WorshipWednesday - after Pastor Cliff's sermon Sunday, I have such a better sense of the importance of asking better questions - and seeking out those on the margins with more than small talk. Jesus asked questions. debmillswriter.com/?p=34445

💪🏻💪🏻 dads!!

☀️ Today in Utqiagvik (the northernmost city in the United States), the sun rose above the horizon at 2:57 AM and won’t set again for 84 straight days or until August 2nd! Here's a look at a timelapse showing the sunset and sunrise this morning. #akwx

#MondayMorning - on complaining as addictive habit - and the way forward - debmillswriter.com/?p=34430 #SecondHandSmoke

One of the most important skills as you get older is how to best protect your time. Lost money can be found. Lost time is lost forever. Protect what matters most.

#NationalDayofPrayer #WorshipWednesday - The US needs healing - of division, hatred, self-serving, apathy, idolatry, & unbelief. As we pray, God may choose to heal our land or not. The most important point is to pray & repent...and to act in faith. debmillswriter.com/?p=34419

@JoshuaBarzon 1 or 3 although 3 is very dark.

Which logo design is your favorite from these 4 options that I designed? I am working on a logo + brand identity for a church that wants the main logo mark to have a prominent central cross with a traditional yet modern vibe. Thanks in advance for your vote!

My goodness. I know it’s hard to ask people to watch anything for 40 minutes these days, but please do watch this. Thought-provoking for the first 2/3 and deeply moving for the final bit, especially the very end. Wow.

@BradHambrick @newgrowthpress It just arrived inside the counseling bundle I ordered. Thanks!!!

If you wanted to read one book for an overview of how I think about interpersonal ministry in the church, this would be my recommendation. @newgrowthpress newgrowthpress.com/christian-book… Build friendships that help you navigate the "What good? What's hard? and What's bad?" of life.

Scientific research reveals that practicing gratitude physically rewires your brain. Expressing gratitude is far more than a polite gesture; it is a biological catalyst that physically reshapes the human brain. Through the process of neuroplasticity, consistently focusing on appreciation strengthens neural circuits linked to emotional regulation and resilience. This habit triggers the immediate release of dopamine and serotonin—the body’s natural feel-good chemicals—while simultaneously lowering levels of the stress hormone cortisol. By activating the prefrontal cortex and the hypothalamus, gratitude provides a natural boost to mental health, effectively training the mind to prioritize well-being over distress. Beyond immediate mood improvements, a dedicated gratitude practice shifts the brain’s fundamental operating mode from survival to growth. While the human brain is naturally wired for threat detection, intentional thankfulness trains it to scan the environment for opportunities and positive outcomes instead. Whether through journaling or verbal acknowledgment, this repetitive focus builds lasting synaptic connections that make optimistic thinking an automatic habit. Over time, this mental shift fosters a more balanced emotional state, proving that the simple act of noticing the good can yield profound and permanent neurological benefits. Source: Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

This is Dr. Norman Doidge. He proved that brain is not hardwired. It's soft-wired. 7 principles from his research that will rewire how you live:🧵

“Now begins the Easter laughter.” Happy Resurrection Day everyone!

If Jesus's Resurrection Were a Hoax Prolly my favorite sketch we ever did at @TheBabylonBee

#ResurrectionSunday - I know Jesus is alive from historical accounts & the writing of eye witnesses, & because of his own word. I also know he is alive because of how he has transformed lives through the ages. He has changed my life & continues to do so." debmillswriter.com/?p=34384

Black Saturday #HolyWeek - the silent tomb. Much of our lives is spent in "the in between". We wait with hope ...knowing that "Sunday's coming". debmillswriter.com/?p=34381

Just goes to show how patronising and - dare I say it, racist - it is to obsess about skin colour all the time. Good on Victor Glover for using his well earned platform to mic drop the regressive nonsense of critical race theory. “It’s human history.” 👏

#GoodFriday - Jesus gave his life for us that day. It was not taken from him. He laid it down. For us. Though completely undeserving, we are ransomed and redeemed. At such a great cost. This Jesus. This life. This cross. - debmillswriter.com/?p=34379

Today we remember that God washes our feet. The fingers that crafted the universe scrub scum from between toes. The hands that painted the cosmos wash feet painted with dirt and sweat. The One before whom all angels bow gets on his knees to labor as a slave. We become clean, he becomes filthy. In doing this, Jesus our God gives us a humble epiphany, a revelation of who he is. He is the God who makes his glory visible in lowliness and servitude. He is the God who gives -his cheek to the betraying lips of Judas -his face to the slapping hand of the high priest -his countenance to the spit of the Sanhedrin. He is the God who gives -his head to the thorns -his feet to the spikes -his side to the spear. He is the God who embraces rejection, shame, torture, and death, to give himself to you. And here is why: because that’s who God is. He is the God who is love. Therefore he loves you by giving to you. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son. What he gives you is nothing less than himself. God gives, you receive. This is everything. He not only washes your feet; he washes you clean, body and soul, through the holy bath in his name. He fills the baptismal font with water from his spear-pierced side and kneels there to wash off the dirt and sweat and grime of your evil. He feeds you himself, his body, his blood. Every natural food we take into our bodies is transformed into our bodies. We don't become corn on the cob or hamburgers. But the supper of our Lord is different. This food transforms you into that which it is. You, the church, are the body of Christ. You are what you eat. So, come and eat. Come and drink. Come to the lowly God who has joined you in your lowliness that he might exalt you in himself. On Maundy Thursday, let us recall, with thanksgiving, how fitting it all is: How fitting that humanity, which plunged into death by eating forbidden fruit, should receive life and immortality by a meal provided by our Savior, the Last Adam. How fitting that sinners, their unity rent asunder by hatred and violence, should be gathered into one communion by partaking of the one loaf, baked from many scattered grains. How fitting that we, who are hard pressed and beaten down by evil, should be comforted and uplifted by drinking from the Lord’s cup, filled with the blood of grapes that have been trampled and pressed underfoot. How divinely and beautifully fitting, on this holy Thursday, that we have our feet lovingly washed by the very God from whom we once ran in terror and shame. Here is our God, Jesus Christ, who comes not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.