Michelle

@seadave1a I told a toddler I liked their jacket in the elevator the other day and she looked up at me and said “it’s a sweater” like she was a mini Regina George. I have a new enemy in my building

today marks the 10 year anniversary of the time I fell off the swings at a park and some bitch ass kid said "what season is it?? fall?" I pray that he's dead every single day

@Ticketmaster if you take my money from my account but don’t send me confirmation of my purchase then that purchase STILL WENT THROUGH. Thanks for stealing my money! Can’t wait for the class action!

@mark_k Organic human here! You’re wrong! We hate it naturally

AI hate is not organic. It is organized, amplified, and politically motivated. ChatGPT alone has around 1B users. That tells you everything. People are not being forced to use AI. They use it because it works. The outrage is manufactured. The adoption is real.

@autumncaa You literally tweeted about it so clearly you were. They really need age filters on this site. So annoying interacting with children 🤦🏻‍♀️

what if I was never curious about the origin of that phrase. how can u fault me

@bongripskill @meatprison2 “Do some research mama” let’s learn together to find origins of things you’re curious about! 👻

@meatprison2 twenty two and yes i 100% think this is part of it

i’ve noticed a couple people my age using the expression “love you longtime” as an expression of endearment and i’m kinda confused cause isn’t that phrase orientalist/racist?

Sometimes a sentence cuts right to the heart of the human experience in a profound way.

@BlemmyaeTruther People actually watched this like unironically? I’m truly baffled. So glad my YouTube watches stopped with Jenna Marbles

I thought this shit was annoying as fuck when i was 10 man there is no “we”

@shboogies Amanda has been in their lives for over a decade. West like two years. It’s apples and oranges

It would seem they’re all trying to be open to taking Amanda back in. Those same sentiments are NOT shared when the cast speaks about West. West must have really been exposed this reunion and I think they feel bad for Amanda at this point, as though she’s a manipulated victim of West’s. To be clear, she’s not and she very clearly sought West out first. But her friends want to see better inside of her. #summerhouse

@skyler_higley I giggle to myself and say “stupid” every week and laugh and have a great time! They’ve been hitting a nice stride!

Also SNL aside nobody wants to like anything anymore and I think that’s a problem culturally. Everyone would rather feel superior by calling everything not funny and you know all these platforms especially this one incentivizes that negativity.

@revenant_MMXX We had signs in every grade that said what year we would eventually graduate college. I remember being in 5th grade and thinking 2012 was a million years away

If you grew up in the '90s or '00s you were constantly hearing about it since grade school. They had us sit in assemblies in middle & high school telling us we all needed to go to college and corralling us to apply, or else we'd never find work. This is insane revisionism:

@heshidicjudaism Ask how her parents chose her name

I have an evil problem which is that I’m going on a second date soon with a girl I had an awesome first date with but I literally can’t remember her name, we met on hinge and she has since unmatched me or deleted it and I just have her unsaved number in my phone WHAT TO DO

@d34dpr3tty @kyndallrene This part. Her and Jason came at it the wrong way but nothing they said has been egregious

@kyndallrene It’s all about to flip… Janet wasn’t wrong, she was just early

nia and kristen can say what they want about janet. her man doesn’t talk to her crazy!

Solemos pedir spin-offs a la ligera cuando uno o varios personajes secundarios nos gustan, pero el 5x06 de Hacks me confirma que necesito una serie de Schaeffer & LuSaque siguiendo las aventuras de Jimmy y Kayla (y Randi). Hay mucho potencial y creo que podría haber intención.

@pastormarkburns You’re going to hell bro lmaoooo

Today at Trump National Doral Miami, we witnessed an unforgettable moment with the dedication of the 22-foot statue honoring President Donald J. Trump. Let me be clear: this is not a golden calf. We worship the Lord Jesus Christ and Him alone. This statue is a celebration of life. It is a symbol of resilience, freedom, patriotism, strength, and the will power to keep fighting for the future of America. It also stands as a reminder of the hand of God and His protection over President Trump’s life. Time and time again, when his life was threatened, God’s mercy prevailed. Today was not just a ribbon cutting. It was the public display of a powerful movement that has spread across America and around the world. I was deeply honored to serve as President Trump’s main point of contact throughout this process, and I do not take that assignment lightly. I want to personally thank Ash, Dustin Stockton, Brock Pierce, Hershey Friedman, Yaakov Filitchkin, Sam, Jack, and the 6,000+ Patriots who donated, believed, sacrificed, and made this historic moment possible. Thank you to the entire Trump Doral team for your incredible hospitality and excellence. And thank you, President Donald J. Trump, for calling me today and speaking to the crowd. We are forever grateful. God bless President Trump. God bless every Patriot. And God bless the United States of America. 🇺🇸 #PresidentTrump #SpiritualDiplomats #TrumpDoral #TrumpStatueDedication #AmericaFirst #PatriotMovement #FaithFreedomPatriotism

@NYMag @NatashaBertrand Him and his heinous wife are SO JEALOUS they never got the reality tv fame and adoration of their other MTV cast members. It’s blatantly obvious all they want to do is be influencers. They could give two shits about the people of this country. A true embarrassment

Sean Duffy: Film road trip for seven months. Work, occasionally. The Transportation Secretary said he did manage to do ‘some work,’ while filming a full Trump-approved reality show with his family titled ‘The Great American Road Trip.’ nymag.com/intelligencer/…

They out here charging $20 for 8 wings. I don’t give a fuck about no aliens right now

Where can I find those families that say, "Take this $2m and stay away from our son " ?

@tobiaschneider Yea the Incredicoaster is sooooo not entertaining. I hate going to single rider and riding it three times back to back. Sucks bro.

What I find so weird is that, while I can appreciate the craftsmanship and my children's sense of wonder, Disney attractions are just very obviously *for children* -- they are not very stimulating or entertaining as an adult

DEBBIE HARRY. Hell yea #SNL

and for the lady, perhaps a deep cleaned house, cancelled plans, a new series to watch, and zero human interaction?