#Kibe

Four things that have a huge impact on your personal finances: ~Your lifestyle choices ~Your circle of friends ~The person you marry ~Your investment choices ~Personal financial literacy You are largely an end product of your lifestyle and the people you interact with.

@NALAmoney your services are very poor.someone sent money 2hrs ago but not received yet

@meelonmuskusa 3452839

Tension hits Eldoret and its environs, today, for the first time ever, TIMBA-XO, a popular nightclub poised to revolutionize the entertainment experience in the City of Champions, will be officially launched. My trusted “sleuths” wamezama na wamerudi Headquarters with crucial “intel” that will help ravelers and spectators “see more clearly.” But one thing is for sure; pesa yako ndio silaha yako. Watu wanapiga sherehe tutakuwa separated into three groups depending on “heaviness of pockets,”: VVIP (Very Very Important Person), VIP (Very Important Person), na Regular, as in ya sisi wanyonge. The VVIP section ni the uppermost “terrace” and will be comprised of confidants of Mheshimiwa Sudi, tenderpreneurs (500M and above), wealthy expatriates, and international “brokers.” VIP section will occupy the middle terrace na ni ya known heavy spenders kama Caterpillar, vijana wa uwanja, gold dealers, wealthy farmers, vijana wa Idara na wealthy athletes. Wenye wamebaki, plus spectators, wote tunarushwa kwa regular section which obviously iko kwa “ground floor.” So, ukiingia huko VVIP ama VIP na upigwe sweep na bouncers, don’t take it personal, rudi ground na utafute pesa, safari bado. Parking pia kuna “procedures.” The wealthy and connected wamesema hawataweka magari mahali moja na loyal voters. If you drive any car below 2000cc, which includes but is not limited to Toyota Allion, Premio, Fielder, Mercedes C200, Mercedes C180, Mazda Atenza, na taxi zote za Wasili, wekeni magari nje ya main gate karibu na main Highway. Trailer za Malaba zikiSlide na zipite nazo, mtamalizana na watu wa Insurance and please msikasirikie watchmen wakikataa muingie ndani; ni strict instructions wamepewa from above. Middle class mnaendesha magari ya 2000-2400 CC, including Mercedes GLC, Toyota Prado TX, Audi Q3, etc. mtaingia ndani but msipite hiyo section ya main entrance ya club, mtamwagia watchmen Unga. Finally, the "owners of Kenya" who drive “big machines” with engines between 4000-4600cc wako na their special entrance na nyuma hiyo side ya Toyota Kenya for security reasons, na pia wasipigiwe makelele as they think of their various investments. These include Lexus LX 570, Toyota Land Cruiser LC200, BMW X7, etc. Huko ndani, wanyonge itabidi tuingie kwa maombi juu “Fishers Of Women” (VVIP na VIP) watakuwa directly juu yetu na wanaenza ona weakness ya meza yako directly. So ukiwa na mrembo kwa meza na unataka kummaliza na “illicit,” utaona tu waiter amekuja kumwambia in hushed tones, “umeitwa na mHeshimiwa ako VVIP, amesema anapenda venye unalegeza macho na anaskia vibaya venye huyu kijana wako anakutesa na pombe ya Kariobangi!” Na hivi ndio utaenda kulalia ngumi. So basically, tunaomba msikanyagane na Matajiri, haki kaikai🙏🏿. Enjoy! 🍷🎊🎈 Samis iiiiinne!

In your “rocky” marriage, unafika kwako late at night reeking of alcohol and the cheap perfume ya waiters ulikuwa unawapiga hug, wakikushikilia mkifanya hesabu ya bill. Your wife, tired of arguments and your ill manners, unexpectedly becomes sweet, serving you warm food and looking at you with admiration at the dining table, unlike her usual self. Usually, she leaves a note in the living room, ameandika, “Food iko kwa kitchen, serve yourself, na ukiingia bedroom, usiniguze…Nuku!” So uko pale, chewing the goat meat loudly, lacing it with ugali and washing down it down your throat with the thick, unusually sweet soup. She is so sweet and caring and infact, for the first time, ameingia dining room na bible and she is reading loudly a verse from Ecclesiasticus 26:1-2, inaongelea the topic ya "mke mwema": "The husband of a good wife is a fortunate man; he will live twice as long because of her. A fine wife is a joy to her husband, and he can live out his years in peace." Kimoyomoyo unajiambia… “Finally, gaidi ameingia line…Senji!” As you continue eating, your lastborn daughter, whom you deeply love, suddenly appears “from nowhere” and hugs you. Your wife, engrossed in her bible, doesn't notice her akiingia. Unamwonjesha the stew, and she excitedly exclaims, “Daddy…hii soup ni tamuuu!” Your wife, startled, looks up, and like someone who has sat on a rattlesnake, she jumps from her seat, over the table, and goes straight for her throat to intercept the meal, sending you into confusion. She quickly whisks her away towards the washroom, alafu, you can hear her screaming… “Tapika yote!”…as sounds of vomiting echoes the whole house. Finally the sounds subside, and they both emerge with teary eyes. As she hands her a glass of cold water, she finally opens her mouth and says… “huyu msichana wako amekula proteins mingi sana, akiendelea hivi, itamharibu mwili!” Still seated in shock, you take a second look at your tasty stew, there and then unajua…program ya kukupeleka kwa baba, imeanza officially!

🕊SENT FROM HEAVEN🕊 It’s Saturday morning, and the Governor has sent a procurement officer to your home in Kiplombe to finalize a 'deal' you have been chasing for some time. He will act in his capacity as an official and also as a P.A. to represent his interests…

Hizi biashara za underground huwa tamu but hutawahi kuwa na amani. Ata mkimalizana na the “risky” deal, kila mtu unaona, anakaa prime suspect ametumwa kukumaliza. Even in clubs and restaurants huwezi kaa mahali your back iko against the door. Huwa unatafuta mahali strategic…

@HonOscarSudi Give the phone to ,Hon.Oscar Sudi.

@MwalimuEpolo @Kenyans Me: The chura Ensemble

Jackson should keep it simple & just stick to the basics. His decision making in the final third shows his inexperience at the top level, far from a finished product

نوروز پیروز

Raila forget about kisumu pacho

@elizabethmugu15 @NCKenya @MOH_Kenya @DrENdirangu @EdnaTallam @Kmtc_official @CHAK_KENYA @KESNNUR @AllkenyaNurseS @nnakenya @Kenya_PNA @Midwiferyassoc1 Hi

@NCKenya @MOH_Kenya @DrENdirangu @EdnaTallam @Kmtc_official @CHAK_KENYA @KESNNUR @AllkenyaNurseS @nnakenya @Kenya_PNA @Midwiferyassoc1 Hi,I have been trying to apply for an exam resit but it is still unavailable in my portal.

📣 ANNOUNCEMENT!!! @NCKenya May 2022 Online Licensure Exam results have been released. To view results, login to osp.nckenya.com NOTE: The portal is now open for application for exam resits until 5th July 2022. For technical support contact us➡️ support@nckenya.org

@joboyle2010 @DaryaSilman @PatricProAuthor Hello,i can help

Are you writing for money or praise?

@domycustomessay Hello.ican help

Write an Essay based on the photos I need support with this English question so I can learn better. 1.The description perfectmyessay.com/write-an-essay…

@rymjob33 Hello,i can help.

@dennistheillest Hello,i can help

@mirmximo Hello,can i can help you.

just realised we’ve got homework in history which i didn’t do my teacher is gonna k1ll me oop

@gleamsujim Hey,i can help you with your assignment

we're doing a research paper within 3 days so help me all deities and gods or i am yeeting my laptop away

just realized the last 3 days i have for this semester might be the worst yet