Bat Guano

@aaronlarnavarro "tons" = unnecessary hyperbole

Tons (20-30) of shots were heard outside the White House grounds. We ran from our liveshot locations into the briefing room. USSS agents are outside the door and are on the north lawn.

@KeanForCongress This is not the transparency you think it is. You, not your staff, are an elected servant of the people. "I expect to return"...when? "I...look forward to being back in the near future"...how do you define "near"?

@ChrisMurphyCT Wow, you are a pathetic sourpuss. It's a humorous poke at Colbert's long overdue departure, as opposed to this...

We live in a country now where the president uses his power to censor media figures who criticize him and then brags about it.

@GovPressOffice I thought you clowns marched with the No Kings crowd. Why the crown on Newscum? Is he the king of clowns?

Californians, if you’re hitting the road this holiday weekend, be sure to AVOID Chevron. Pro tip: unbranded gas comes from the same refineries, storage tanks, and pipelines, and it meets the same state standards to keep your engine running clean, even if it doesn’t have a fancy name like ‘Techron.’  Big Oil is already making billions off Trump’s Iran War; don’t let them rip you off even more by overpaying for the brand name.

@TVNewsNow Adding more bad news, the US population has grown approx. 33 percent since Carson's last show in 1992.

🚨 THE RATINGS ARE IN: • Colbert finale: 6.74 million • Letterman finale: 13.8 million • Carson’s finale: 55 million

@SenAdamSchiff Hell awaits your arrival. Please hurry along.

@KarluskaP Who does Khunt's research for her jabber show? @kasie doesn't know that the "beautiful building on the top of the hill" isn't a monument to the fallen but, in fact, Arlington House, The Robert E. Lee Memorial. Someone should tell her that and watch that retard's head explode.

The look of horror on this woman’s face- I really hope they find a cure for TDS. I can’t imagine trying to function with this disease.

@RepShriThanedar Dude, you wouldn't know intelligence if it slapped you in the face, and it should.

Tulsi Gabbard is resigning. Good riddance. The Iran war has been the biggest display of intelligence incompetence in decades.

@Variety Wow! Who knew Sherlock Holmes is now writing for Variety?

Has #StephenColbert’s push into politics hurt the late-night format? Late-night was never supposed to play to a particular type of audience: #JohnnyCarson made fun of politicians, but mostly their public goofs, not their policies. #JayLeno rarely became political. And #DavidLetterman feuded with politicians but not over what they did in Washington. In 2026, late-night shows are a wholly different creation. “These shows were built to be vaudeville in the box in your living room,” says professor Dannagal Young, who studies political satire and the media preferences of liberals and conservatives. “They were a place to watch jugglers and clowns and funny people doing impressions. They were not made for this.” wp.me/pc8uak-1lHirU

@RepThomasMassie Apparently they did. Your next announcement: It's Packing Day in D.C.

It’s Election Day, Kentucky! Make your voice heard. Take a few minutes to vote if you haven’t already. Visit this link to find your polling place and times: massie.house.gov/services/votin…

@SenBillCassidy Petulant child, I recommend you take a seat in the corner for the duration.

While I support the administration's efforts to dismantle Iran’s nuclear program, the White House and Pentagon have left Congress in the dark on Operation Epic Fury. In Louisiana, I’ve heard from people, including President Trump’s supporters, who are concerned about this war. Until the administration provides clarity, no congressional authorization or extension can be justified.

@mtgreenee I see you're going with the Joe Biden aviator sunglasses.

Here’s a truth bomb about Thomas Massie!

@joncoopertweets How's your day going, Jon?

If Thomas Massie pulls off a win in the Kentucky primary tonight — as I believe he will — it will be a hugely embarrassing loss for Trump.

@GovChristie The Chris "Krispy Kreme" Christie health plan:

Bill Cassidy voted his conscience on impeachment, then spent five years sucking up to Donald Trump. He was the deciding vote for the most unqualified HHS Secretary in my lifetime, a guy laying ruin to the public health system, all to get Trump's favor. Message to my fellow Republicans: you're not going to get his favor. It doesn't work that way.

@RBReich You clearly don't get out much.

After this Thursday’s show, the Ed Sullivan Theater will go dark, and we’ll lose one of the nation’s funniest and most courageous, truthful, and gentlemanly critics of Trump and his regime. Farewell, and thank you, Stephen. robertreich.substack.com/p/farewell-and…

@spencerpratt Spencer, damn the torpedoes; full speed ahead! Don't let the dweebs get you down.

My house burned down. I lost everything. I can’t rebuild. As a 42 year old man with 2 kids, I’ve had to move into my parents’ house, and I’m getting attacked for that? This is journalism? This is why no decent people ever get into politics. This is why you only have goblins running everything. God help you if you try to make things right for your community…if you lose your entire town, “journalists” mock you for not making your kids sleep in the toxic dirt on your burned out lot. Who raised you, dude?

@LongTimeHistory Kindergarten graduations? We have carried participation trophies beyond any point of reasonableness. Your first graduation should be high school, and according to current test score results, most shouldn't cross the stage.

Elementary school excludes Hispanic boy from graduation—the kindergartener has to watch through locked glass door. School forced the family to wait in a completely empty library—but they could hear cheering from auditorium. "It broke our hearts... he was shouting 'My friends! My friends!'" cried his mother. Six-year-old Rigoberto Contreras was only allowed into school at 9 a.m.—while the rest of the class arrived at 7 a.m. to have breakfast together. He has been diagnosed with global developmental disorder which can cause hyperactivity—but he never needed to be enrolled in special education. "They discriminated against him, it’s a very strong word, but he didn’t give them a reason to exclude him that day." Incident occurred at Michael S. Ryan Elementary School in Laredo, Texas.

@RepThompson Is that the national flag of Whogivesashite?

This International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia, we stand with our LGBTQ+ communities in celebrating inclusion, defending human rights, and rejecting hate in all its forms.

@allybrawls Staged and fake. BTW, that's the weakest swing ever coming from someone who spent all that time trying to roll up both sleeves.

A young white female was distracting the class with her cellphone, the teacher asked her to get off her phone and she slapped him instead. The teacher then asked her to apologize she refused and he hit her back. Was he right to hit her back?

@Mike_Pence Call Gavin Newsom to learn how you can increase sales by using your leftover campaign funds.

Look What Just Arrived at our Home in Indiana! —the very first copies of my new book, “What Conservatives Believe: Rediscovering the Conservative Conscience.” It will be available where all good books are sold June 2nd! You Can Pre-Order your Copy Today! bit.ly/4sgzjYA🇺🇸