oats n bones

Are you the reflexive form of jugar? Because you just played yourself

Fuck stoicism, I’m tryna get hella vulnerable

It’s too bad my desire to stuff a puny little freshman into a locker developed after I finished school

My dentist is making me very anxious with all these talks of cavaties and what not. Worst of all, the big spiral lollipop I keep on my nightstand isn’t calming me down at all

Just found out about this whole trampoline thing, I can’t stop smiling

Who is your favorite Nightfarer? #NIGHTREIGN

I love to see a video of a man just released from prison hitting up the Chili’s. Welcome back sir

I am in dire need of a fool’s errand

I want to be minimalist but then I’d lose all the cool stuff I’ve acquired over the years

The problem w looking for new music is you’ll never find a song better than Flim by Aphex Twin

If you take anything away from that Kings of Leon meme, it should be the fantastic stunt work by those Nickelodeon shows

Weezer Blue Album is equivalent to drinking the perfect amount of beers

People will mentally create the most complex conspiracy theory about a game being rigged while creating their 9-leg parlay

On par with Hemingway’s 6-word story

New best way to die: I get hit in the head with a football really hard, but the ball lands on the back of my dead body and I score a touchdown.

If Tupac was still alive today, he probably would’ve had a career transition similar to Snoop Dogg. Meaning we could’ve had a Tupac Fortnite skin. Fuck, man.

There was a group of Covenant outside my voting location, forcing people to vote for the Arbiter. Free country my ass.

Utilitarianism says I should continue zyning since it maximizes pleasure for both me and big tobacco

The government is distracting me with Clairo videos, I can’t get any goddamn homework done

Dudes will look at a volcano erupting and think ‘sick,’ but then they see twin towers exploding into ash and think ‘damn’

Next time you’re listening to music, try this “headphones” thing out, so dope