Pearl David

so that everybody has a way to deal with what is in their head, about thoughts, as well as what is in their heart about whatever they are feeling and whoever that special person was.

However, make sure that you not only give information on what happened but also talk about feelings and how to cope with those feelings

Don't assume what your children are thinking about. Ask them, listen, watch their behavior to understand more about how they are reacting and adjusting to any kind of death. And then go in with more information.

You can use the word "die" or "sick" to very young child and go into more detail with a 16 year old. The more the real information is there, the less they are going to rely on their imagination. The more you keep something a secret, the more they think something more scarry.

So, the best thing you can do is get it out there in the open, let them know you are there for true answer and they can trust you at a time when they may feel like their world is not so safe anymore; and that they may have questions and they know who to go to.

You can use the word "die" or "sick" to very young child and go into more detail with a 16 year old. The more the real information is there, the less they are going to rely on their imagination. The more you keep something a secret, the more they think something more scarry.

When you talk to kids about death you want to understand their age and what they can understand. And, when you actually sit down and talk to them you want to use the real language. Use the appropriate words. But use them in a way that fits the child's age.

Older children may worry more about themselves, about other people, about something bad happening to them, or getting hurt. Teenagers worry about the future and what would happen again to other people and is it safe?

If the death was someone who was important or close to that that child then you really want to look at their reactions. Now, the reactions can vary from feeling distress and upset and possibly reacting to just the change in the environment if they are very young children.

The teenagers think much more about the reality and then the rest of their lives and what it might it might mean about themselves about mortality; they may have more abstract ways that they are thinking about it.

They may have more fear and also have a lot more questions and curiosity about what happened and some of the details.

By age 9 to 10, kids beginning to understand the person isn't coming back, it can happen to anyone, it can happen at any time, and it means your body isn't working any more.

The first thing you need to be aware of is their age. That their age dictates what they can understand. At very young age, child doesn't understand the concept of 'gone forever', 'never coming back' especially the infant, toddler and the preschooler.

SHOULD WE TALK TO KIDS ABOUT DEATH? HOW DO WE TALK TO KIDS ABOUT DEATH? This is a very scary topic for adults and certainly it is for children. We need to approach it like any other topic that you need to give your child information to help them with.