Samantha

Now selling 1 brother. Will take all offers. Just get him away from me.

@VisBitchy I’ve got you

@Sam_anthaPorter Wanna be my personal?

Chat why do my friends keep telling me to run for judge

@clarkvs_maximvs The trophies for the US GP! (Gotta read the captions) Hope this helps!☺️

Wtf are these

@VisBitchy Ok but this is so my mom. I fell down an escalator and had to get X-rays on my knee and my mom laughed at me forever

My coworker said I should have taken the day off since I was in a car accident yesterday and I was like yes but one time my car fell on my foot when I was changing a tire and I did call out and my mom made fun of me.

@badluckbarron Should have forced Kyra and her fear of heights to do it

Had the harrowing experience of driving across this today

@badluckbarron Very on brand for Philly

@clarkvs_maximvs I think elimination style would be funnier for me

@Sam_anthaPorter They still run the races but they can’t sore points for the title. It’s quite silly.

“Playoff” systems are not meant for motor racing.

Manifesting a tan in the 10 minutes I’m outside to go get lunch because the uv index is 10

This whole Messi in Miami thing is giving me major Zava at Richmond vibes

):

I will continue to complain about being cold as I drink my iced coffee

Every so often it really hits me that I’m going to Australia in a few weeks and I truly can’t believe how lucky I am to be able to take this trip🙏🏻

@_Brian_Porter_ Sounds like you should ✨shut up✨

@Sam_anthaPorter Sounds like you have a ✨problem✨

I’ve been with my firm for a little under two months now and I’m already know as the Dunkin obsessed employee. My coworker literally is always so shocked when I show up with a coffee I made at home and not a Dunkin coffee

@PeterRauch42 Personally, I like that whoever released this couldn’t even pretend to hide the “strictly confidential” stamp

Tbh I’m getting second-hand anxiety looking at that single entry of 15 hours without a description of the work performed.

Can’t wait to do a full workout class on my flight to Australia!

@shanaherron15 I offer the complete opposite contamination ocd take: thinking the hand soap being on your toothbrush will poison you because it’s hand soap and not made to clean a toothbrush

Big Ted Lasso fan