͏ 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕤

It’s always bothered me that 66+44 doesn’t equal 100

If u get a LOAN at a bank, you’ll be paying it back for 30 yrs. If u ROB a bank, you’ll be out in 10 years. Follow me for more financial advice

I just checked my bank account and figured out that I can live comfortably without working for the rest of my life as long as I die on Wednesday

I tried to say “I’m a functioning adult” but my phone changed it to “fictional adult” and I feel like that’s probably way more accurate...

My body after I stand up too fast:

Tell me this doesn’t look like Drake and Napoleon Dynamite had a kid

Mood

So I googled marine animals, and I am not disappointed...

Amazing artwork created using only colored pencils!

Comedy is evolving

What’s so impressive about working a part-time job? 🤔

Nobody: Jeff Hardy:

“THAT’S WHAT” -SHE

This is what the internet was made for

I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again"... unreal

[first day as a vet] me: what seems to be the problem cat: meow me: yes but where

when your car is electric, but you only smoke gas

at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy'. bitch thats a prescription we’re both stupid

brain: break it me: why? brain: you gotta

Tyga: rack city bitch rack rack city bitch 9th grade me: ten ten ten twenty on yo titties bitch