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My Twitter account is a count of my sorrows

Golden retriever brings emotional support duck to hydrotherapy session

Neurodivergent? Back In my day we called it "a pleasure to have in class but easily distracted."

WTF DO YOU MEAN there was a study where they taught pigeons to differentiate malignant breast cancer from benign one and the pigeons got it correctly EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT OF THE TIME

just made some shit up in my head, I’m so mad rn

they saying 6.5 cgpa is da new 9.8 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

lo que no te mata te hace caminar kilómetros escuchando música por tiempo indefinido

How it feels as a meat-eater to acknowledge that vegans are morally superior

so what we drink soda so what we eat pizza

“This coffee is great!” Bland, uninspired, dismissed as small talk “I’m not racist, but this coffee is great!” Enigmatic, suspenseful, keeps people thinking

do i have a cold or allergies or hantavirus #doihaveacoldorallergiesorhantavirus

do something omg!!!??? @zaralarsson

HANTAVİRÜSÜN ERKEN BELİRTİLERİ🚨 Bu belirtiler varsa çok dikkatli olun 🚨 1. “Tuhaf bir grip” gibi başlayan ateş. +++

ChatGPT has to be AI

Just once I think that a stand up comedian should be like “okay this next one’s a cover” and then do someone else’s bit word for word

Sorry Anna, can’t make it to the Met Gala this time. I have 3 days WFO #sorry #anna #NoMet

scientists are calling me "the one person that is allowed to put q-tips into their ear canal" saying things like "she's just so careful" and "i don't know how she does it"