Matt Blum

It happened. I wrote a book. Now, it's a Top New Release on Amazon. Pick it up to find out why 🖤

@RetrovaniaLand Bruh...are we the same person? 😳🤣

🍕🕹️ Flashback Monday: The Day Double Dragon Changed My Life (1987 Style) Yo, fellow '80s survivors! It's your radical pizza-makin' NES overlord vampire dad, Cap'n Retrovania. Let me take you back to the golden era when quarters ruled and Hawaiian pizza was the ultimate power-up. I first discovered Yoshihisa Kishimoto's masterpiece—Technōs Japan's Double Dragon—at my local SoCal Round Table Pizza in 1987. That cabinet hit like a flying knee to the face. The chunky pixel art, the gritty urban streets, the two-player co-op beat 'em up mayhem... I was instantly obsessed. My crew and I would pile in after school every week, claim that machine like it was our turf, and go to war against the Black Warriors. We'd split a large Hawaiian pizza (extra pineapple, fight me), chase it with a pitcher of Mountain Dew that could fuel a small rocket, and pump quarters until our thumbs were numb and the high score screen laughed at us. The smell of melted cheese mixed with arcade ozone? Pure nostalgia crack. Then June 1988 rolled around. Tradewest dropped the NES port and I skateboarded straight to Toys "R" Us the second it hit the shelves. Grabbed that gray cartridge with the iconic cover art (Billy and Jimmy looking ready to brawl), raced home, and popped it in. From then on, every Friday night sleepover turned into an all-out pizza-fueled Double Dragon marathon. We'd huddle around the CRT, controllers in hand, shouting "Let's go!" as we uppercut our way through the city, swinging pipes, grabbing whips, and trading punches with Abobo and Willy. Sessions routinely stretched into the early morning—eyes bloodshot, stomachs full of leftover cold pizza, yelling at the screen when one of us got knocked into the river. Man... those nights built bonds stronger than any final boss. Kishimoto-san gave us something timeless: brotherhood, rebellion, and pure arcade adrenaline in 8-bit form. Who else lived this exact Double Dragon life? Drop your own pizza parlor arcade stories or favorite sleepover gaming memories below. Let's keep the Leftover Pizza Power Kids Club alive! 👊🐉🍕 #DoubleDragon #NES #TechnosJapan #80sKids #RetroGaming #PizzaAndPixels #YoshihisaKishimoto #80sKidsRule #NostalgicOverload #PizzaPowerKidsClub

@B__E__C__C__A__ Get it girl 👏👏

@blumphotography 😘

NyQuil and ghost adventures 😳

@thelmaoclips We used to be a proper country 🤣

90s WWE was on a different level

I have the ugliest damn feet, but the light is perfection. I love it.

I hear there's going to be a football game at the @PostMalone concert 🤘

My body is not a temple. It is, at best, Nakatomi Plaza on Christmas Eve in 1988.

Gotta love the Internet. On one hand, infinite knowledge at your fingertips. On the other, people who will argue with you for posting "I love cheese."

Your mind isn’t built to carry the whole world’s misery.

It puts the lotion on its skin and then it walks around in the nude for 30 minutes because it hates the feel of clothing on freshly moisturized skin.

@blumphotography So kind!

I'm just glad we live in a world where every 22 year old wholesaler making $650,000 a month wants to spend their time teaching me to do so for only $99. Blessed.

Serve me an asian rice or noodle dish with an egg on top for breakfast, and I'm sorry, but I will fall in love with you.

@Mappy6984 What in the generational wealth is this?

This is my nightmare tbh

Someone in the US has no clue today is their last day with all ten fingers.

The life you want starts with saying “no” to the one that’s killing you.

I buy one shower curtain on Amazon once and now every time I log in, Amazon acts like I’m the guy who fucking loooooves buying shower curtains.

I heard there was a show where @LilTunechi was touring Italy. Not to take anything away from Stanley Tucci, but you can imagine my disappointment. I was expecting Wayne philosophizing in front of the Colosseum. Spinoff idea: "From Tha Carter to Calabria." Let’s make it happen.

Shoutout to whatever marketing wizard at Starbucks looked at a 10¢ donut hole, put it on a stick, and said, “Yeah, that’s a $3 cake pop now.” Is there a Nobel Prize for Bullshittery?