Capt. Bridger

glued my butthole shut I couldn't give a shit if I tried

My buddy who's a firefighter: I've been having a really hard time at work lately Me (picturing him at the end of a hose that's spraying too strongly and he's flying all over the place and can't get down): that's hilarious

domingo a las siete de la tarde

i met cailou and he was So fucking racist

please unmute this video i'm begging

Disintegrated this dude just because

using a fork to jack off. you figure out how

imagine freeing one slave in your entire life and it’s Hitler

Imagine driving drunk and hitting a clown car. 15 counts of dui manslaughter

white people be like my axolotl just got shadowbanned on pinterest

Bought a meatball flavored vape from Goodwill and now my arms won’t bend

nigga got batista bombed

At the liquor store helping them lift the gate up

gave my dog a Popeyes biscuit mf ain't barked in 4 hours

Can't wait to get really old and drive my car into the side of a Dairy Queen

Just ate some bacon from Dollar Tree and now my neck won’t turn

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