Matt 🇺🇸 Cpt. America Patriot

@FNC_Ladies_Rule @TheFive @FNC_Ladies_Rule, go watch one of the other loser shows.. those are unwatchable! The Five is always fun and five-alarm hot! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

@TheFive Is it another ALL MAGA hosted show? Those are unwatchable!

Hi America! Tune in to The Five⭐️

@TheFive Why wasn't Greg Gutfeld, The King of Late Night Television invited onto Steven Colbert's show with Kimmel, Fallon, Oliver & Meyers to give them all their eulogies? And why am I the only one asking this?! @JesseBWatters @greggutfeld @EmilyCompagno @JulieBanderas @KennedyNation

@MLFootball That's why prenups come in handy

🚨🚨THIS IS HILARIOUS🚨🚨 Kristin Juszczyk posted that she accidentally booked her husband #NFL All-Pro Kyle Juszczyk a middle seat on a five hour cross country flight. x.com/pahrduve/statu… “I accidentally booked Kyle a middle seat on a 5-hour flight & I'm scared for my life” “I’m not safe after this flight lands. If no one hears from me later you know who it was” “He’s texting me death threat” Kyle is 35 years old, 6 feet 1 inch, and 235 pounds, and has made $50 million in his career. This video is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

@TheFive @JesseBWatters @greggutfeld Could Jesse or Greg please publicly school Jessica Tarlov how the word "gerrymander" originated? Hint: Elbridge Gerry, the Governor of Massachusetts and a prominent member of the Democratic-Republican Party (today’s modern dayDemocrats)

Listen to @JesseBWatters and @greggutfeld recall their conversation at the State Dinner last night with King Charles. What would you have told him?👑

Taxes explain a big part of the differences 💰 — but local logistics and margins matter a lot too! Data: AAA daily averages (Apr 23, 2026) + Tax Foundation #GasPrices #GasTaxes #USGasPrices #EnergyCosts

Colors: • 🟦 Dark teal = Post-refinery/base cost • 🔵 Blue = Taxes (federal + state) • 🟦 Light blue = Local margins & operating costs Sorted by total tax (highest first). State names colored 🔵 blue / 🔴 red by 2024 election winner.

🚗⛽ Why does gas cost so much more in some U.S. states than others? I recreated the WSJ-style chart 📊 for all 50 states + DC. 🇺🇸

@MZHemingway I'm concerned that Brit Hume isn't anywhere on the list near the lovely Mollie Hemingway. Wouldn't you agree, @greggutfeld?!

I am simultaneously pleasantly surprised to be on this list of the country’s top news influencers, and unreasonably disappointed that I am not ranked higher.

I am so grateful for @realDonaldTrump @POTUS — we don’t deserve him.

Libturds: Trump acts like a king . Interviewer: name 1 thing that makes you think that he acts like a king . Libturds: There are a million of them. Interviewer: Just name 1 or 2 Libtards: Uhh.. I can't think of none right now. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Grandma Groyper, no one is "slut shaming" you But you have talked publicly about: -Threesomes -Watching porn -Your sex life -Losing your virginity -Promoting premarital sex -Your body parts -Your obsession with "dirty sex" -Having sex during pregnancy, including third trimester

"I'm going to be up his ass until he gets rid of that sign." Police take down woman who blocks our path. Milford NH No Kings

Insane NoKings interviews: Free the Gays of Hormuz!!! (focusing on the straights of Hormuz is wrong!)

😂

@Geiger_Capital @eddy_terstall Try this one

Your "despotic age" verse was a billionaire's jest— We chose Trump again... now give politics a rest! #Trump #NoKings

Your Trumpty rhymes flop in this fresh country air. We voted him back—now America's humming, With wins on the wall and the people all drumming. Actors play kings, but they shouldn't decree, How working folks live, vote, or just be.

Trumpty Lithgow wanted a crown, To lecture the peasants from his velvet gown. He wanted a stage full of spotlights and cheers, While real folks voted away all their fears. With Oscars a-shine and his mansion so grand, He preached about tyrants across the whole land.