carlos the dwarf

be a fucking hoe today if you wanna be twitter.com/y0ungHippy/sta…

what’s wrong babe, you’ve barely touched your reese’s ballsack

If your wife is in a deep depression & all you can think about is how you aren't getting laid, then marriage isn't for you. If your wife is having health problems & all you're worried about is you aren't getting laid, marriage isn't for you. 1/2

not surprised men think 54 seconds is a long time

when my friends are trying to teach me the rules of a card game and I physically cannot listen

Masters acceptance, yay 🥹✨✨🤍

@ailaghpailagh YAY CONGRATS!!!!!

you got a fast car i got a plan to get us out of here

Thank you large weather rat

holding an alt girl’s hair back while she throws up and it’s like. Oh okay let me get all the layers. and this overgrown fringe. oh and the uneven front bits

how is that not right??

Improved live laugh love just dropped

Every time

this is what my man sees before bed time

just got back from my dr appointment and it didn’t go well… she prescribed me a 6 month stay by the sea for exhaustion and hysteria. i have to start packing my bags tonight

hey sorry for being so anxious earlier i had no idea everything would be fine

Feeling extra saucy tonight bc our new license plate is green n our car plugs in 😂

Sheryl crow: I was headed to church 6yr old me: I was off to drink you away