mpcap_j

I’ve made a lot of progress not arguing with strangers on the internet in the last 6 months. Here’s to doubling down in 2026.

@TheJoeySwoll With hot sauce and a barbell they fought for truth, justice….

It’s you and me against the world. 💍 5/29/27

@CryptoMikli damn… 3 whole glasses 😂

Steven Bartlett says a few glasses of wine ruined the next 3 days of his life “It's one of those areas where you don't understand the hidden cost until you really give it up for a while. I stopped drinking at 30 years old. I'm now 33. When I was 31, I thought, I'll have a drink again because now I could really A/B test it. I had a year of not drinking, decided to have a drink again” “It ruined three days of my life. I had a couple of glasses of wine, didn't get drunk. It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused” “I got worse sleep that night, and then because I got worse sleep that night, I ate more poorly the next day because my dopamine system or whatever, the cortisol system was all messed up. I podcasted worse. I didn't go to the gym that day or the day after because I felt really bad. I then slept worse, and I could track all of this on my Whoop”

Where am I now?

6 crispy street tacos for $6 at 4A and you’re dooming? 🇺🇸

@AnnCoulter Marco? How do you feel about Cuba?

I would be for invading Cuba PROVIDED Alejandro Mayorkas, Rep. María Elvira Salazar and Marco Rubio have to go back.

@MediaOffScript @CollinRugg 30. 30 seconds.

@CollinRugg We used to wait for facts. Now everybody becomes a federal investigator in under 90 seconds

BREAKING: About 30 shots fired outside the White House. Secret Service reportedly rushed the press who were on the north lawn into the press briefing room. ABC reporter Selina Wang was in the middle of filming when the shots rang out.

@flapprdotnet it’s clinically significant. it’s called “the piker threshold.”

Beginning to think she might not be mentally stable.

@TennisonEddie enjoy every second 🤝

It's my only grandaughter's 2nd birthday today. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for getting to see it. We get along well, she and I.

@LongTplexTrader 😂😂

Holy fuck people....what I meant is this a real post? Did he post this?

@BenVolin they are professionals and grown men. if they can’t function without believing they have a hive mind they have bigger issues. and idc if you like him or hate him, he is the POTUS.

Giants starting QB just divided his locker room

@alt_w_v_g “He said are we modeling pre-tax or after-tax”

My wife mentioned a nice private school over dinner this week She said the campus was beautiful I asked what's the tuition She said we should look at it as an investment in him not a cost I made a note She said don't make a note I said I always make notes She said this isn't a deal I said everything is a deal She closed her eyes She said we'd discuss it Saturday I agreed Saturday 7:02am She came downstairs in her Saturday robe Coffee in hand I had my cargo shorts on The dining room had been cleared The projector was on The analyst was at the head of the table Quarter zip on, three iced coffees, a legal pad, and two laptops He had been there since 6:44am I texted him at 11:14pm Friday The text said dining room 6:45am bring the model He sent a thumbs up My wife stopped in the doorway She said what is this I said you said you wanted to discuss it She said this is not a discussion I did not respond She sat down anyway The analyst stood He said good morning ma'am She did not respond He sat back down A printed deck in front of each seat A fourth copy in case Slide 1 Tuition Schedule $38,500 per year Thirteen years $500,500 nominal Before escalators The school has raised tuition 4.2% per year for a decade With escalators $648,000 My wife said okay I said I'm not done Slide 2 Opportunity Cost Even before escalators $38,500 invested annually 10% nominal return S&P long-run average since 1928 By his eighteenth birthday $944,000 My wife said we can afford it I said I know that's not the slide Slide 3 Terminal Value at Age 65 $83 million She was quiet The analyst slid the sensitivity tables across the table 8% return $31 million 10% return $83 million 12% return $222 million She did not look She said this isn't about money I said it's always about money She said no it isn't I said then what is it about She did not answer She said you can't put a dollar value on his teachers his classmates his environment I said I can the analyst already did slide 6 He flipped to slide 6 She did not look She said the school is the best in the city I said best is a feeling She said it produces the best students I said the students were already the best before they got there She said our son deserves it I said our son deserves $83 million My son walked in He is five Dinosaur pajamas He looked at the projector He looked at the open deck on the table He looked at slide 3 He said are we modeling pre-tax or after-tax The analyst opened a new tab My wife looked at the ceiling He said what's the discount rate The analyst set down his pen She closed her eyes He said is this the same return assumption from the 529 conversation The analyst stopped typing He looked at me I did not say anything She stood up Sat back down He said dad can I help I said yes He pulled up a chair The analyst handed him a printout He started reading My wife watched him read She watched him for a long time She said his name He looked up She said do you like school He said the work is too easy and the kids don't ask questions She did not respond She looked at the ceiling She walked out of the room The analyst started packing up He said should I follow up Monday sir I said no follow up needed He'll be fine Sent from my iPhone

Martha Stewart went to prison for saving herself $45,673 using an illegal stock tip. Donald Trump traded stocks 3,700 times between Jan—Mar of this year, totaling between $220–$750 million, and used the presidency to make his stocks go up… And he’s walking around a free man.

@DulCarter_ so this violated your safe space?

Never thought politics would be what killed my love for Giants football

@BigBlueUnited mindful of some football players getting in their feelings? stop being so goofy, thought policing is way too feminine for the locker room.

Carter isnt the only Giant that feel this way. He's just the first to make it public. I hope Dart uses this has a growth opportunity. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. When u are supposed to be a leader of a team, u need to be mindful how your actions impact your teammates

@ModernDad now that’s just rude bro

Ok I love the wildlife in Florida, but giant birds leave giant poop. Come on man 😭

@DiscussingFilm MOBLAND lasted 2 seasons. Got it.

Tom Hardy has been fired from ‘MOBLAND’ and won't return for Season 3. He allegedly clashed with producers after being consistently late to set and attempting to give notes & change dialogue on the series. (Source: puck.news/newsletter_con…)

@ErinIshimoticha @SpaceX An expression of national pride does not negate the value of humanity or our shared success. So many strong, mutually compatible concepts in life ie ruthless competition and sportsmanship. The either/or framing is just one brain pretzel after another. It’s oddly unnatural.

Maybe @SpaceX can ask its engineers not to chant nationalist dogwhistles on the livestream please? 😒

@Polymarket right or wrong, sometimes it’s best to stay in your lane… my uncle asked a college friend of mine once “who do you think you’re fooling? the chicken salad ain’t that good.”

JUST IN: Hooters announces “re-Hooterization” initiative, plans to turn the risqué restaurant into a family friendly dining establishment.

@JoelWebbon @j_fishback makes sense you would also respond and frame it exactly like a 17 yo kid

Despicable. Vote @j_fishback

@brave brave:

Can’t relate.