balSAMic fig glaze

@NipsPoofy Profound

Who’s got some glow in the dark sauce I can dip my sack in? Have big ideas.

tonight we are drinking to die

"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife. Happy new year everyone.

had my tarot read by a guy in a huskers jersey and I am LOCKED IN for 2026

Burnt ween

Heatin up stay tuned

Y’all mind if a couple white boys eat chili by the fire?

hanging out with friend who has a vape tomorrow

@TheOnion happy Halloween

You sweet, evil mistress

I’m just gonna say it. I fucking love to vape

New York fucks bc I accidentally went to a restaurant I watched a documentary about years ago bc I was craving ramen and the place I wanted was closed

Accidentally asked my coworker to goon me (hand me a crab rangoon). Luckily HR is not being called bc she’s a millennial and doesn’t know slang.

Made my gf cry teaching her to make a red wine vinegar reduction

Cute without the E being the song of the weekend is the reason I am moving to New York

Scary movie commercials — illegal after nightfall. Add that to the big beautiful bill, Don

Treating speed limit 25 and my age being 25 the same by not rolling my car into a river only to give in to the cold, damp current

Drunk me habla español like a demon

Extra negative points when it’s a Netflix cartoon about Greek myths and not even an anime

Word of the wise girlfriend’s don’t find it hot that you are spending your night watching anime