Keith Soup

@ByCuriousGeorge Unnecessary

@keithsoup20 Sans hair

Me after 8 hours at my cushy desk job

Only G i'm splitting.

At least once a year I Google “Can you eat grass?”

Homeless guy just asked me for the time. Where the fuck does he have to be?

Imagine someone writing a suicide note with a gel pen

I won’t buy a product unless it has a commercial with MINIMUM two The Office cast members.

My resting heart rate is 62 but I’m sabotaging my cardiovascular health so I can get it to 67.

Why do I need to fart every time I get under a blanket?

DEI has gotten out of hand…

Who the fuck uses Mint Mobile?

The only ICE white people get surprised by:

Somehow lost 10 balls at a golf simulator

Random Uber driver just stared me down, his next passenger must be a bald guy with beard.

I don’t understand why so many cyclists are fat.

People think I’m smart because I’m handsome, but I’m actually not smart or handsome.

No April Fools joke from me today. Reality is already twisted enough.

Watching Wicked illegally, why’s this bitch green?

One of my favorite non-alcoholic beverages: @AthleticBrewing mixed with @KetelOne #sober #soberlife

Free money #LetDKCook sportsbook.draftkings.com/social/post/d4…