Kristen Normoyle

somehow i was not aware of this memo George H.W. Bush sent to his entire White House staff when his dog got too fat

Bloop.

This is Percy. Sometimes his ears dip in his water bowl, but that’s okay. 12/10 would hold them back for him (IG: percythebassethound)

So apparently I was raided by @Erobb221?? @fourconner was there too? I am so confused. I am in shock, wtf?!?!

Guys please come provide mental support for me while I shave @_mattyhassett @BadgerGfm live on twitch.tv. 8PM!! Free to watch, free to subscribe with an Amazon Prime account.

@xQc #xqcsetup #xqcpc

What game series should I play next?

This is Riley. Every morning he hangs over the wall and drops his toy so the nearest passerby is forced to play with him. It works 100% of the time. 14/10

This is Winston. He didn’t see the cliff in front of him. Felt like he was falling forever. 13/10 someone help him

Why would I ever pay $200 for concert tickets when at least 20 girls I know are going to snapchat the whole thing and put it on their stories for free

hm....no! committing to a pet means you make a conscious decision to care for a sentient being even in extreme circumstances and you also have a working comprehension that if you can’t you should surrender your pet to someone who can! this ain’t it, chief!

.@Starbucks to eliminate plastic straws globally by 2020 sbux.co/2KFqLtR

thanks for putting those fireworks on your instagram story. yours are different and much cooler than everyone else’s

the royal wedding had 29 million viewers and shane’s docuseries got 30 million who’s the real royalty

Ok so first there was the visial illusion of “the dress,” then there was the audio illusion of “yanny/laurel,” now all I am waiting for is a smell illusion of something that smells like roses to some people and straight butt cheeks to other people. Can’t wait.

We still only rate dogs. Please don’t submit Long-Bodied Crocosauruses. No matter how docile. Thank you... 12/10

My mom attempted to tell me what was for dinner

@Maria_Summ I haven’t stopped talking about it,it literally seems fake