bald Keaton

@patrickspauster I’ve thought so much about this. I think a solution could be closing Bergen to thru car traffic so it’s cop car parking only (& bikes). Give cops lots of angle-in parking & otherwise force drivers to use other streets. Do the same to St Marks Ave and you’ve fixed the intersection

Most fascinating part of this to me will be how DOT redesigns the intersection of Bergen/6th Ave/Flatbush Ave, one of the most congested intersections in Brooklyn & adjacent to a police precinct where countless cops park on the sidewalk.

I am taking out a PPP loan this time

Exclu: Mayor Mamdani is set to announce this morning plans to turn Brooklyns Bergen and Dean Streets, two heavily used bike corridors that currently have painted lanes, into bike boulevards. amny.com/news/exclusive…

if u say no to pretzels, the flight attendant should give u something called a Coin of Restraint. while worth nothing now, these coins will play a major role in the afterlife

oh fuck, im on the subway. damn i hate that i can just sit here and read or watch something. i really wish i was responsible for manually operating a more confined vehicle that is more likely to get me killed than this one

One thing about 3pm is that it is the end of the day.

The Reverend Mother of the Bene Gesserit is WEAK on Crime.

hate seeing astronauts having fun up there. floating around tickling each other with a feather. you should be finding a goo that kills all of us

when the express train passed a 10ish year old kid stood close to the edge and screamed wordlessly at the top of his lungs until it was gone. His dad was on his phone and didnt look up. It looked like it felt so good. i dont take pics of random children so i drew the scene

My theaters. My IMAX. My weekend.

if I was a baby i would pop out weighing 40 pounds, sing one perfect note, and pass away instantly

chatgpt, please journal in my diary for me. the entry should reflect my rich inner life and lead to some clarity about my relationships. the tone should be relatable but deep. for context, i am a shy genius. chatgpt, please come out of the computer and give me a little smooch,

Introducing the Bus Bus Stop 🚏 You can just do things.

cuntniss everdeen from district ate

You don’t need to wash your water bottle or your bed sheets or anything. Everything will eventually become clean because of a great big fire

If I don’t see at least one movie in a movie theater every 7 days I start to get violent withdrawal symptoms

@gabydvj Juvenex in Koreatown. Get the scrub then a 90 min massage you'll feel reborn.

what's a good place for the world's most stressed out woman (me) to get a good massage in nyc. i dont want no frills btw i want FRILLS. or like i guess no frills if the place is really good. i want to feel like a newborn baby and also like i just got beat up