Mark Harrington

@Amelia__2210 10

Can you solve this? Answer without Ai

@Skyy_056 @Sam_Axiom 3

Your calculator won’t save you here. Only real ones know answers?

@JosephKeenan25 Well, traditionally boy bands appeal to teenage girls and gay men. Not sure that's the demograph that will be watching the football let alone buy this. And before any one moans, I am a gay man and I will be watching the World Cup

Nah this might be the worst yet.

@lorahmoe Usual bullshit. Have Americans no better things to post?

My cousin and her husband boarded a 14-hour flight for their honeymoon to Thailand. They had specifically paid extra for the two middle seats in the front row because she had severe flight anxiety and needed to sit together. About ten minutes after boarding, a couple in their 50s walked up smiling and said: “Would you mind switching seats? We accidentally got separated.” My cousin politely asked where the seats were. The woman pointed all the way to the back of the plane. Middle seats. Different rows. My cousin said no. The woman immediately got loud enough for nearby passengers to hear: “Wow. Some people really don’t care about married couples.” Her husband added: “It’s our anniversary trip.” My cousin’s husband just calmly replied: “So is this. That’s why we paid for these seats.”

Isabel Oakeshott on Nigel Farage buying a £1.4m house: “I honestly don’t see why it’s anyone’s business. Why should people know how he paid?” Isabel Oakeshott on Angela Rayner buying a 2nd home: “I smell a massive rat. How on earth has she raised the money to buy a £800k flat?”

How is it that Trump can stop 8 imaginary wars between other countries but can’t end the one he started with Iran?

@BenedictSpence You need to get out more

I don’t know a single person who voted for Brexit who thinks it was a mistake.

Robert Jenrick(Reform MP): "& where are we." Backbencher: "You're in a different party.... you used to be there." 🤣

What exactly has Starmer done that is anywhere near as bad as what the fucking Tories did for 14 years? That is a serious question. What have I missed?

"Is the UK *seriously* about to change Prime Minister AGAIN?" Asks Laura Kuenssberg, who along with her colleagues at the BBC, has spent months campaigning for that very scenario #bbclaurak #BBCBreakfast

@KeruboSk Another load of rubbish that never happened

I was flying back from a business trip, and since I’d been traveling for work all month, I used my miles to upgrade to Business Class. I’m sitting in 3K, wearing a beat-up college sweatshirt and messy hair, just trying to hydrate. A guy walks up to my pod, looks at my boarding pass sitting on the console, then looks at me with pure confusion. “Excuse me, I think you’re in my seat.” I checked my pass. “3K? No, this is definitely me.” He doesn't even check his own ticket. He just gestures to the seat and says, “This is a long flight. I think you might have misread the 'Zone 1' on your ticket. Economy starts at row 12.” I told him, “I know where Economy starts. I also know I paid for 3K.” He sighs, looks at the flight attendant, and says, “Can we double-check this? I don’t think she’s supposed to be up here.” The flight attendant, who had literally just seen my passport didn't even blink. She looked at his ticket and said, “Sir, you’re in 33K. That’s near the back. Please move along so we can finish boarding.” The silence in the cabin was heavy. He had to do the "walk of shame" past twelve rows of people who had just heard him try to evict me. When she came back with the hot towels, she gave me an extra chocolate and whispered, “Enjoy the extra legroom.”

Here’s the part no one is saying: The next president won’t get a real first term. They’ll inherit a repair job. Rebuilding alliances. Restoring credibility. Undoing damage. An entire presidency spent fixing what Trump broke.

@lizzkelly7 Another story that didn't happen. Makes a change from the airline seats I suppose...

My friend and I arrived at the theater early to get the absolute best seats for a highly anticipated premier - dead center, eye-level with the screen. We had our popcorn, our drinks, and twenty minutes to spare before the trailers started. Ten minutes later, a family of four walked in. The theater was completely packed by then. The mother scanned the crowd, spotted us, and marched right up the steps. "Hi," she said, flashing a bright, customer-service smile. "My kids really want to sit together, but the only open seats left are scattered in the front row. Could you two move down to the very front so we can have your row?" The front row of this theater was notorious. It was so close to the screen you had to crane your neck at a 90-degree angle just to see the actors' chin follicles. "No, thank you," I said simply. Her smile vanished. "It’s for my children. Don't you have any decency? They’ve been looking forward to this movie all week." "So have we," I replied, taking a sip of my drink. "Next time, you should look forward to it a little earlier." She scoffed, muttered something about "miserable people," and had to drag her kids down to the front row. We enjoyed the movie at perfect eye level.

What's the deal with all these Americans with increasingly detailed and ridiculously implausible "I was asked to move my seat " airplane stories.

Here’s how Trump talks to democracy — and how he talks to authoritarianism. And this man is the President of the United States.

@JuliaHB1 @wesstreeting Pull your neck in Julia

Fine, @wesstreeting. IF you get elected as Labour leader, and IF you survive as PM until the next election, then you can promise a referendum on rejoining the EU in your manifesto and IF you get re-elected as Prime Minister, we can all have a vote on it. Anything else would be undemocratic. You know you can't win that referendum. But I'm very happy for you to try. BRING IT ON!

Ken Murphy is Tesco’s UK CEO and the highest paid supermarket boss. He pays himself £10,800,000 a year, but is registered to pay tax in the Republic of Ireland. Yet he complains that 'costs' are too high so he can't afford to pay his workers.

@Peston My God, the government held to ransom by Angela Rayner!

The prime minister’s survival is probably now in the hands of his former deputy, Angela Rayner. Now that she has been absolved of wrongdoing by HMRC, his get-out-of-jail is to offer her the health job vacated by Streeting or perhaps any job she wants. She is strong enough to dictate terms, because she represents a large part of the parliamentary Labour Party that wants him out. So if she throws him a lifeline, they may too. I am imagining the conversation in which Rayner says to the PM that she fancies being Chancellor of the Exchequer and she is sure Rachel Reeves would excel as health secretary. This is currently all the stuff of fiction, except that whether Rayner agrees to take any job from Starmer is potentially life or death for him

@Parody_PM Utter idiot

Reform councillors are wasting no time in tackling the most pressing issues of the day, such as... er... monitoring UFO activity over Doncaster.