Nymoddo Darkstone

• Mage • Eerewolf • Shapeshifter • Lewd • Dark Humor • Bi • Original Character

There’s no way

This is why women live longer than men…

YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, RIGHT?

Me: buying fried chicken from convenience store. cashier looks exhausted spiritually. I point at chicken. Cashier: One? Me: Yes. Cashier pauses. looks at me carefully. Cashier: …rough day? Me: What? Cashier quietly adds second chicken. Me: No I only ordered one. Cashier: You need this. Me: Based on what. Cashier: Your aura. man behind me in line nodding seriously. Stranger: He right. Me: WHY IS EVERYONE ANALYZING ME. Cashier adds energy drink now. Me: I definitely didn’t ask for that. Cashier: Tonight long. Me: Brother are you a prophet. Cashier finally scans everything, total somehow 777 yen exactly. entire store silent. microwave humming ominously. Cashier whispers: Lucky number. automatic doors suddenly open by themselves. cold wind enters dramatically. old lady near magazines: It begins. Me: WHAT BEGINS?? nobody answers. Cashier just hands me bag slowly. Cashier: Run.

My message to Bungie after all the news.

Raises hand.✋🏻🤚🏻

👑

Vendo dado raro de 327 lados para RPG. Se você não entende de RPG, por favor não opine.

hombres, denle una calificación a este palo

@AvaVtuber_ Fine by me, go search someone you like, ill find my own people, on your way, be sure to take care of yourself and if you find someone you like, be sure to tell them so, its better to say the good things than the bad, if you want to hate, go do it somewhere youll get punched back

Someone says to you…”I don’t like you”. How do you respond??

Can yakmayan eski tarz şakalara bayılıyorum, çok komik 😁

@real_loonarae S

Who do you prefer?~ 🎨 cactigang (bluesky)

@fwmarqix Trust me i have 3, one of which entered my house on its own and never left

@fwmarqix Its the cat that adopts you, nit the other way around

Me: entering Japanese cat café. employee stops me immediately. Employee: One rule. Me: Okay. Employee: Orange cat bites people from France. Me: I’m not French. Employee: Good. I sit down, cats everywhere, peaceful, adorable, therapeutic. then gigantic orange cat jumps onto table, built like retired wrestler. Cat staring at me aggressively. Employee watching nervously from distance. Me: I thought he only hated French people. Employee: He improvises. cat slowly pushes my drink off table while maintaining eye contact. Me: THIS IS TARGETED. small child nearby points at cat. Child: That one evil. Employee: No no, He just passionate. cat suddenly climbs onto my lap, starts purring violently. Me: …wait he likes me? Employee shocked. Employee: Impossible. another worker comes over, then another, entire staff now observing me like chosen prophet. Manager arrives. Manager: He has never trusted customer before. Me: What does that mean. Manager bows slightly. Manager: You must take him. Me: TAKE HIM WHERE. orange cat already asleep on me. Employee quietly bringing adoption papers. Me: I CAME HERE FOR COFFEE.