ivy🪽🌸 ⋆˚✿˖°

ꫂ❁ my intro🍡 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. hi i’m ivy :) i’m seventeen she/her | they them ❀ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. i’m new to twt! i will be a part of #shtwtᅠ #edtwtㅤ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. i have autism, depression and chronic anxiety nice to meet you ⋆.ೃ࿔

my brain which is wired differently and has chemical imbalances. being autistic is bad enough, but the depression and anxiety and all my other symptoms of other disorders makes it unbearable to live.

- i try and wash, go outside, eat, get up, yet nothing changes and i end up in the same state. i know im getting worse but i can’t actually do anything, all i do is fantasise about killing my self in various different ways. id rather be dead and at peace than live with -

my depression is so severe all i do is lay in bed and stare at the wall or sleep or cry or cut myself but my meds definitely made it worse. before my episodes would last like idfk a few days and i’d still be able to function. NOW i can’t move or literally do anything. it feels -

im planning both my suicide and future at the same time and im genuinely committed to both paths

just watched paris, texas… overrated sorry

i wish i could be a nocturnal human because all my motivation and bursts or being productive always happen at night and in the day i lose all sense of motivation and purpose for anything

I WILL LOSE A WORRYING AMOUNT OF WEIGHT IN JUNE

okay i ate i feel better already. fasting is not for me. i think omad will be better ⋆ 𐙚 ̊.

my alcoholic mother keeps texting me saying she’s still my mum and i can’t talk to her that way when i tell her to fuck off… bro i haven’t seen u in 2 YEARS after u ruined my life im almost 18 u revoked ur mum privileges a long fucking time ago

being autistic and fat and queer and of colour is genuinely not even okay like why am i not neurotypical and skinny and straight and white my life would be so much easier

i just want to die why am i so scared of pain

can’t even go on a walk without breaking down crying in the middle of the street lol wtf is wrong with me

@burner1729484 totally agree, they’ve fucked me up. i wasn’t this depressed before starting them. i’d do anything to go back to before i was prescribed them. when i try stop taking them the withdrawals are hell and it feels like my brain is on fire which is only why i do take them

@oncemagnetic the drugs are actual poison, get off ASAP. best of luck

i fucking hate meds why would you prescribe someone with severe depression medication where the side effects are depression and insomnia. because now it’s 3:22am & i’m fantasising about slitting my throat