-_-

The best I’ve ever seen them

Separated at girth

hawnk shuah

Would you rather be 3 years old with everything you know now or your current age with everything you knew when you were 3 year old

@len0killer @jockowillink Benny safdie?

We are living in a generation of soft men. @JockoWillink

Almost fell thru the first story of my parents barn when a wood board collapsed under me while trying to do the shoot dance happy new year

I like it when people say “today is the first day of the rest of my life.” That’s every day

@_omgbritt Hm sounds like a lie

57 year old man at work commented that my green juice matched my shoes and without allowing a single thought to cross my brain the words “drip too hard don’t stand too close ya might drown off these waves” came out of my mouth. At least I used the pg version…

They say the biomass of all ants in the world is greater than the biomass of all humans in the world but they’re actually referring to the biomass of the ants I’ve eaten in my lifetime

Gary is short for Gawrence

You’re telling me a blunt forced this trauma

They should have one car that races in the Kentucky derby for reference

@michaelacp_ Cole hacked Mollie’s FB and posted this

like why was this my birthday post LMFAO and why does it look like i have a fucking snaggletooth

if you don’t have an aunt mollie in your life i genuinely feel so bad for you

Guy who wears boxer briefs backwards because he thinks the gap on the front is a shit flap

A MASSIVE moment for Arsenal in the title race 🔥 (via @NBCSportsSoccer)

@michaelacp_ You would know a cuck, homewrecker

@pat_eagan you’re a fucking cuck

Going into a long “a little bit about me” monologue to the guy I’m training at work like a college professor

@michaelacp_ Congrats you got the joke 🙄

@pat_eagan at fat bobs really

Objection your honor; let him cook

Cryptid? More like scripted