swoogy L

Why I should be allowed to burn milk crates at the campfire 🧵

@bbytaro_ Feel like this is a subtweet

wait till my boy lump gets here

@CaesarsHelp Hurry up bruh

We are aware some users in New York may be experiencing issues. Our team is working to resolve things as quickly as possible.

@junkdog69 i heard this works, and fast

This may be the Pinot Noir on an empty stomach talking but I think we’re gonna be ok eventually

I was mistaken. I thought the server at this bar would laugh when I told him I had salvaged and eaten other people’s leftovers while waiting for my food to come out. He scowled

@herorats I understand

Handling a rat needs to be carried out firmly, yet with a #gentle touch. They need to feel comfortable and secure so are picked up in a way that supports their large frame, and are held close to the body with firm footing. #HeroRATs #APOPO #africangiantpouchedrats

You're telling me all I have to do is watch Four Brothers and I get $60. Deal

Going to the western union on a Friday at 5pm and buying $20 of losing scratch tickets from the vending machine while people wait in line to send money to their loved ones

Father John Misty is just xanax Hozier chat

Could be literally anyone’s baby, has nothing to do with me

I don’t care about nieces and nephews thats not even your kid who cares

Oh you love your brand new baby nephew and you can’t stop posting pictures of him on ig stories? Keep that same energy when he’s 15 and horny and ugly

I was typing on my laptop on the couch and for about 3 minutes I felt very clearly the sensation of observing my hands and surroundings from a perspective about 10 inches of my head - I was still motor functional but just sort of zoomed out. Then it just went away so yeah

@OneBenHauser Me too

AMC is trying to charge me full price when I have A List. What’s going on here

@Taila_Eth @FearedBuck That’s very smart

@FearedBuck He can sue them for breaking contract if he is very smart

Neon’s subathon is currently about to end 5 days in after the camera crew left and was overheard trash-talking Neon hours earlier, he spent close to $500k for them to stay for 30 days 😭 x.com/copiumx/status…

Would you go to a party in an 8th floor walk up with no outdoor space

No gentrification but when Stevie was in Bed Stuy and I was spending all my time there I didn’t realize how much I was enjoying the blissful dearth of Coachella hats and nasally white millennials that now surround me in Ridgewood Queens

The short kings of Boston would kick the short kings of Ridgewood Queens asses if they ever rumbled no question

@kierymf @MBTA It’s electric scooter time

it would be so sick and dope if the fucking red line ever worked properly, especially considering ALL of the closures over the past year??? @MBTA

I would quit my job to be paid to find out who is stealing the things of the sil sign