👸🏽

i actually love cleaning the house, but with three conditions: - start when i want - take as long as i need - i have to be alone in the house

Occupation: “Ouuu. This guy is so fine” And then I go about my day.

@anonymoussurgeo In all these stories from guys on the tl, why do the roommates never remain food for the actual owner?😭 they always empty the pot. Omo Gfb o

I remember my 100L 1st semester, there was holiday that day and I cooked jollof rice. I wanted to charge my power bank and come back so that I can eat. When I came back, my roommate said Gideon you know how to cook oo, I just laughed it off. When I checked the pot, it was empty

The concept of not being a child anymore but not feeling like an adult yet

Chicken republic man, how about a chickwizz promo meal without rice ehn? Do more protein instead 🫩

Was what we had real or cake

@nobod3yyyy Boys were allowed to come into the hostel? In unilag?

My name is Ijeoma, and let me tell you what hostel life in UNILAG did to my sanity. I got admitted and my parents said, “Ijeoma, you’ll stay in Moremi Hall. It’s for girls only, it’s safe.” I entered that room and saw six beds, one standing fan that sounds like a generator, and one window that refuses to close. I told myself, “I’ll manage, it’s just four years.” Week one, I was the good roommate. I brought an extra extension, labelled my snacks, and even wrote “please don’t use my towel” on the door. By week two, Lagos had happened to me. The light pattern in Moremi is a mystery. It takes light at 2am when you’re sleeping and brings it at 6am when you want to iron. We all have power banks, but they also need light. So we charge power banks to charge phones to use torchlight to find another power bank. That’s the circle of life in the hostel. My roommate Kemi is a night reader. She puts her reading light on at 1am and starts reciting Economics like she’s on stage. I tapped her and said, “Kemi, please.” She said, “Ijeoma, I have a test.” I said, “And I have eyes. They need to close.” We’re still roommates, but we only greet on weekends. The bathroom is a different story. You queue from 5:30am with your bucket, towel, and prayers. If you’re late, you’ll brush with one hand while holding the queue with your foot. One day I entered and someone had used all my soap to wash her hair. I shouted, “Who touched my soap?!” The whole bathroom went quiet. Nobody answered. My soap never came back, but I got respect. Food is survival of the fittest. Jollof from the buka finishes in 10 minutes. If you don’t run, you’ll eat bread and groundnut till the next alert. I once left my food to pee, came back, and my rice was gone. My roommate said, “Ijeoma, I thought you said you were done.” I said, “I was going to be done after I ate it.” We didn’t talk for three days. But the worst part is visitors. Moremi says “no boys after 6pm,” but boys still come at 5:59pm with a timer. At 6pm you hear “Baba, time don reach” from the porters, and it’s like Nollywood action. Boys jump from the first floor while girls hide them under beds. One day I came back and saw two legs under my bed. I screamed, the legs screamed, and we both apologized. Despite all this, I love it. We share data, share rice, and do midnight gist about boys who don’t text back. We borrow clothes and return them looking better than we gave them. If I fall sick, my roommates knock on every door for drugs. I’m in 200 level now. My bed has tears in the net, my bucket has lost its handle, and my wrapper is now my “going to bathroom” cloth. But if you ask me if I’ll move to an off-campus hostel, I’ll say no. Outside you’ll have light and peace, but you won’t have Kemi reciting Economics at 1am or seven girls fighting over one pot of Indomie at midnight. That’s my hostel reality. No light, no privacy, no one person’s soap. But it was all fun and also no loneliness.

shoutout to the restaurants that still gives us plastic spoons for our takeaways to those of you that give us wooden spoons, it won’t be well with you

Are there women who genuinely don’t like cooking , not that they don’t know how to they just don’t like to do it frequently?

I fear ragebait will work on me because I’m naturally an angry woman

“Avoidant” but you no dey avoid relationship, na when you done enter finish, you go remember say you like to dey avoid things, Lol please get out.

Nothing I hate more than a slow burn relationship. All the butterflies in my stomach would have been dead by the time you realize we should date

omo when you guide buy clothes o

During exam period I don't run on caffeine or energy drink. I never have . I run on pure adrenaline and the terror of failing😭

You don't have to show everybody your full personality like it's very okay to be absolutely nobody to some people.

@IrvinMkhabela You see what I’m saying ? You clearly shouldn’t lead anyone when you have the comprehension skills of a centipede

One more day to wrap this up guys.

Please add water to your jollof rice!!! Please!!! Leave Hilda Baci recipe! If it didn’t dey, it didn’t dey!!!!! No comot my teeth Abeg

and for the lady, perhaps 3 million naira that she didn’t work for.

I will never force a relationship..... I am not ugly