Snowa'Dib

I think we might be looking at another derecho here tonight

Wind in my hair, cape in its prime, storms in the air, but not in my mind (:

Oof

(:

I know you're not big on excessive sympathy and that you're going thru some heart break rn so I'm gonna go be a little aloof for your sake, lest I try to offer help a bit too habitually. I take comfort in knowing you can get thru it.

Gave me a reason to stop trying to escape.

I abandoned my bender after the interaction last night.

My sympathies.

Neon skies if bz and clouds cooperate tonight

Give me a seed's worth of trust and allow me to cultivate it.

Unlike a white mustang, I do change. I stopped saying those words simply because you seemed uncomfortable with me saying them. My old way of coping is to lash out, I wouldn't dream of doing that now. I've been steadily trending towards tranquility; and I won't stop progressing.

I want to change that.

I'll do my best.

I physically felt my cortisol levels plummet just now

cause u do still care about me.. oh..

If I do well, the cycle breaks. If I fail, maybe then I can convince myself to walk away, breaking the cycle that way. Right now, I can't walk away and you can't seem to stay away. I should have to work my ass off to be trustable again, but I need a small leap of faith from you.

Please, you've said no for so long. I just wanna try yes once.

If I ever got the sense that you were trying it would've calmed me significantly.

I'm tired too. I can't get myself to stop caring about you. I've tried several times to walk away. I wish it felt more from my perspective like you tried cause it never seemed at any point like you did. I just want to try for real. If I fail at worst you can simply reblock me.

I give myself contingencies in an attempt to break myself away. I've failed in those efforts, admittedly.