Sativa Plath

my brain is 385573892 years old. wow. the depth. the knowledge. my mind. incredible.

this too shall turn into a whole thing

shoutout to my surgeon who told me post surgery he put my scar as high as possible so I could still wear a tankini as if i’m not the resident Naked Neighbor ™

My weather app just told me to go smoke a joint on the patio

is he fun to be around or am i fun and he’s around

I love her so much

one thing about my unhoused friend?? he can literally see me coming from a mile away

@Shmergzzz @ me next time

Every time I touch a light switch in the winter time

watching the bad bunny show from the front row of the super bowl

@_adamlondon Great Tweet ™

@TheBrattPack63 Great Tweet ™

Conspiracy theory: Tom Fitzgerald traded for Bjugstad so that when the whole arena is booing the team off the ice he can have Amanda Stein tweet “haha sounds like the fans are welcoming our new player bjuuuuuuug”

unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that the devils have a false sense of their goal scoring ability because they’re practicing against markstrom

never forget a few days after I had a liver transplant they made me take a pregnancy test before a biopsy. like baby girls you were JUST inside of my body… did you SEE a baby???? (also I was 15 and incapable of moving for like a year at that point)

the most beautiful women you know are not allowed to eat grapefruit

@Shmergzzz large tub + 8-12 twizzlers

How much popcorn can @CAlien__ eat during the Kill Bill double feature (5 hours). Place your bets now

best part of being in a lesbian relationship is i’m in the bedroom watching the devils game; she’s in the living room watching the gotham game & we are sharing tweets back and forth. perfect.

I have work, and then I have a dinner thing. And then I am busy trying to become who I am.

ego death in the hayley williams ticketmaster queue

@no_worriezz good tweet

vaxxed?

when people hold me accountable after I beg them to hold me accountable