Connor

Okay but you have to admit. A company named X Corp has big Disney supervillain vibes.

@OfficialNicCage when are you stealing the Stone of Scone?

Amelia Bedelia struck again, reached out my hand and told my son to shake and he literally shook his whole body.

Someone told me @MCRofficial isn’t emo on Emo Day and I’m not okay (I promise)

My son has become Amelia Bedelia. I asked him to throw away a diaper. He takes it and runs forward and YEETs it as hard as he can.

See, the issue with astrology is birth dates are arbitrary. I, for example, was born early. Ask your parents what time and place you were conceived. That’s your real sign

Threw**

My son just through all his banana on the floor. Then had the audacity to look at me and applaud himself.

Recently realized Kathy is the boomer version of Katy. In other news, I’m sleeping on the couch.

I got 99 followers but a bitch ain’t one.

@ambergontrail Could they now check for that after birth?

Y’all really need to stop naming your kids Michael. I have 10 in my contacts and it’s getting out of hand.

@Dr2NisreenAlwan Why worry @SetItOff

Every day I remind myself that life is too short to worry, yet I worry and worry and worry. What’s the cure? Tried and tested tips are always welcome :)

Y’all hear about Wynn Bruce?

Same energy

Just had mole for the first time and y’all southerners were really holding out on us. What else y’all got down there?

Gonna add rice to my flour to keep it from getting lumpy.

This is how I afford a mortgage

@just_luis15 @TChainzDC 🌭

What is one food that you eat with your hands but if you see someone eating with utensils you judge them?