DBA Reactions

When someone is bragging about having a huge database (several TB) and after asking some questions you find out that they simply failed at defining their data retention policy... @DBAReactions

When I finally make the switch to using Extended Events instead of Profiler dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-i…

When the new "DBA" says he isn't a newbie but doesn't know how to start a service dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-t…

When a member of TechOps sends me a really detailed email about how to find the SQL server uptime. dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-a…

I just got done with our SQL licensing true-up dbareactions.com/2021/01/i-just…

When the DBA is finally added to a two month long email thread discussing a data issue only to be asked "This shouldn't affect anything, right?" (HT JoeStefanelli) dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-t…

When I get SQL Server running in a Docker container dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-i…

The morning when we realized all of our system databases on a specific production server became corrupt sometime the day before dbareactions.com/2021/01/the-mo…

Documenting the stored procedure business logic in our legacy data dbareactions.com/2021/01/docume…

When we have to come up with a plan to downsize databases from an Exadata onto an ODA and it involves Crisco, a cork, and duct tape dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-w…

When I get back from vacation to find 3 weeks of failing backups, the ops team didn't think it seemed important enough to disturb me dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-i…

When one of our production applications is suddenly generating about 10x the amount of CRUD transactions (and paging me out on Saturday because of filling up our archive log file system) dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-o…

When the user says: "My program crashed", and I ask: "What are the details?", and they say: "It crashed with an error" dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-t…

"We load balance between SQL Server and Access" dbareactions.com/2021/01/we-loa…

When I realize we're storing GUIDs as NVARCHARs dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-i…

When I politely respond to code review comments about my stored procedures dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-i…

When the network guy's vernacular for "I don't know" is "sounds like a database problem" dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-t…

Finding out that the same service account is being used by multiple instances in production, QA, and dev dbareactions.com/2021/01/findin…

When the consultant tells you that they want to load test their application. In production. During business hours. dbareactions.com/2021/01/when-t…