🇿🇦Delta Papa 🇿🇦🇺🇸🇬🇧

@kelly_ques I've had Rottweilers and Staffies but my 2 Rescue Mutts (pavement specials) have been the most intelligent pups I've had. Opens the doors both ways. Beautiful natured dogs, somehow know we saved them.

@PalluSA Hahahaha funny.

Saturday silly 🤣

@Zamalek2179945 Cheers Chantz 🍻

Cheers I'm out 🍷

@MaxPatricius @kriswentzel9 Geez Mav, read that with my heart in my mouth. Glad your wife is ok.

“They’re killing me!” Those three words exploded through the phone like a gunshot in my chest. I had barely said “Hello” when my wife’s voice, raw, ragged, terrified, ripped the world in half. In the background I heard pure chaos: men shouting, dogs snarling , stuff crashing, and then a sickening thud as the phone was ripped from her hand and the line went dead. My mind blanked. I don’t remember starting the car. I only remember the engine screaming as I tore out of the parking lot, fifteen kilometres of tarmac between me and the only thing that mattered. Nine-and-a-half miles. It felt like nine-and-a-half lifetimes. The road blurred into streaks of colour and light. I have no idea how I didn’t kill myself or anyone else. All I knew was that my wife was at our house with monsters, and every second I was late was another second they could finish what they’d started. While I drove like a man possessed, I abused the speed-dial of my phone. Yes, I broke the law by using a cellphone while driving like a madman. I was doing fleet management for half a dozen private security companies at the time. I screamed at every CEO I had on my contact list, how they even understood the banshee wail coming out of my mouth, I’ll never know. But they did. Within minutes the cavalry was rolling. I skidded into our street and slammed on the brakes. It looked like a war zone lit up for Christmas. Thirty vehicles crammed the road, armoured response cars, ambulances, private security SUVs, police vans, their blue and red lights pulsating across the walls of every house. Massive security dogs strained on leashes. Men in full battle-rattle all over, watching, waiting. Dunno where and how I parked. I just ran. My feet pounded down the driveway and the horror hit me in layers: brass bullet casings glittering on the concrete like deadly confetti… dark splashes of blood still wet on the paving… the metallic smell hanging thick in the air. Armoured operators with automatic rifles swept every corner, voices clipped and professional. I slid through the front door and there she was. My wife, my beautiful, unbreakable wife, was slumped in a dining-room chair like a broken doll. Her clothes hung in torn ribbons. Blanket over her shoulders. Deep scratches raked her arms and neck. Her hair was a wild tangle. She was sobbing so hard her whole body shook. Police officers knelt beside her, gentle but insistent, trying to pull the story out of her shock. The moment she saw me, the world stopped. We crashed into each other’s arms so hard it hurt. I held her like the earth might rip her away again if I loosened my grip even a millimetre. She buried her face in my chest and we just clung, two survivors in the eye of the storm, while the house buzzed with armed men and flashing lights. Only later, when the shaking finally eased, did we learn the full story. Five savages had ambushed her the second her car rolled into the driveway. They ripped at her clothes, trying to drag her inside. But our Dobermans, our silent, black shadows, had other plans. The dogs hit them like missiles. The attackers panicked and opened fire at point-blank range, straight at my wife. Not a single bullet left the barrels. Later we collected the spent rounds ourselves. Every single casing had a perfect firing-pin strike… but every primer was dead. Misfire after misfire after misfire. God was in control that day. He had been in control the whole time. And in the middle of the blood and the brass and the sirens, the only thing that still made sense was the woman in my arms, alive, breathing, mine. We were never the same again. But we were still together. And that, more than anything, was the miracle. The blood belonged to the attackers, thanks to our beloved Dobies.

@ConstanceDilem1 Gee haven't had this since I was a child. Exactly with sugar butter and milk😍

it's cold, i hate it, and for some reason i am craving this with ridiculous amounts of sugar, butter and milk.

@sw_usa7476 Thanks for this Steph, I hope you don't mind I got Grok to change it for a 3 yr old.🤔😊🙏🏻

@jokerunl @sarstax @EdKieswetter sleeping when it comes to these Govt officials. Easier to target registered taxpayers.

Black privilege. Stealing other people's money, without sars saying a word. Must be nice.

@Michael54863926 Everytime she waves that 9mm around gives me cold shivers. Just stoopid stoopid stoopid.🫣

She must get the same sentence as Malema.

@Alanascottish Bwaaaahahahaha🤣

I went to see my Doctor. I told her every time I bend down I see Mickey Mouse and every time I stand up I see Donald Duck... She asked me how long I've been having these Disney spells.

Courtesy @funny.uk76 Very funny and doesn't look like Ai 🤣🤣

@elonmusk "President Cyril Ramaphosa acquired 1.2% percent shares in Standard Bank through BEE (Black Economic Empowerment), that is how he became a billionaire." - Moeletsi Mbeki He never actually built any business. That's what these guys do. They will never let it go. They benefit.

@TheGmonsta @BossBabeDuchess @ali_naka "Entrepreneur" blocks ENTREPRENEUR. 🤣

@BossBabeDuchess @ali_naka 🤣🤣🤣 Show me on the teddy bear, where mean Elon hurt you 😱😂😂😂

The Verified Racist is having a meltdown

@ItsMeLockett @Mr_Husky1 6ft6 well built athlete and he's scared. The dude following must have been huuuge

@Mr_Husky1 Is this your son and the stranger? Who is in the white van taking their picture? Is this for engagement?

"My 22-year-old son called me last week while walking home from the gym. At first, everything sounded normal—just small talk. Then he got quiet and said, “Mom… there’s a guy following me.” He had parked a couple blocks away. It was after 9, dark out, and this man was matching his pace, his turns… everything. My heart dropped. He stayed on the phone, trying to sound calm, but I could hear the fear creeping in. Then he passed a gas station. There was a man outside finishing his shift, and he must’ve noticed something wasn’t right. He looked at my son and said, “Hey, you waiting on someone? Come stand here with me.” Just like that. My son stopped and stood under the lights with this complete stranger. The man who had been following him kept walking—didn’t stop, didn’t look back. The worker stayed with my son for about fifteen minutes, just talking—about football, about nothing—keeping him there until it felt safe. Then he even offered to walk him to his car. My son said yes. I was still on the phone the whole time, barely able to speak, just listening as this man—whose name we don’t even know—treated my child like he mattered. Like protecting him was the most natural thing in the world. When my son finally got in his car and locked the door, he said, “Mom, I’m okay. Some guy just looked out for me.” Some guy. Some man who had every reason to go home after a long shift—but chose not to look away. Chose to step in. Chose to stay. If you work at the Shell station on Hillcroft in Houston, Texas… please know a young man got home safely because of you. Because you took a moment to care. I don’t know your name, but I will never forget what you did. A mom is beyond grateful. Her son is home." Wala nani

@AnneM56748 Yip, made coffee in the dark. Not the best. Power off at 1:30am so batteries now dead.

Oh for Poopy sakes🙈 AnneM #We had a power cut this morning #dressing in the dark Honestly, I’m just lucky I didn’t come to work in my slippers today. Coffee first, shoes later, that’s my motto this morning... Please Sent Coffee......

@StephGrey50 @PATRIOT2117 🤣 very sharp.

@PATRIOT2117 From her lips to his ears 🤣🤣🤣

PLEASE DON’T BLOCK ME!! A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they had become too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I... thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

@BarneySimon Hellenic braai, yesterday. Left it up to the Greeks.

Wie gaan vandag braai? Wys my jou braai #Braai

@Esmari_1 @Basiepretorius Name and shame.🤬

@Basiepretorius n Man hier wat my geruime tyd stalk.En Dan begin Om my post goed hele tyd te sê.Onsmaaklik.Ek vermy hom lank genoeg maar laasnag net genoeg gehad.Ek PLA Nie mense Nie as jy Nie v my Hou by all means scroll verby en los my uit het genoeg om mee te deal Gert.

Ag arme ding, Jy Soos n blik wat Raas ou .Kom tog net oor jouself en f off v my tl...jy raak eentonig.Gaan PLA jou porn girls.STALKER!!!!Hou aan en en name jou hier voor almal ....idiot jy kry Nie aandag by vrouens Nie..!!!!🤨🤣🤔🤔🙄🙄🙄Sien Ek pla jou erg poephol.

Greek Souvla, take me back to yesterday, I'll start all over again 🍻🔥😍

@disengaged1984 @Darth_Martys 🤣 there's always one Pos at the braai, and if you don't know who it is....it's you🫣🤣

@Darth_Martys I take frozen chicken, red bear vodka and Kingsley. But I am always close to the fire as the beef fillet is usually ready before the frozen chicken

When you’re invited to a braai and told to bring your own meat & drinks… 🍖🍻 Do you bring just enough for yourself… or pack extra drinks “just in case” and become everyone’s favorite person? 😄 I’m trying to see something here 👀

@PhotoColman @EdwardthembaSa 🤣

@EdwardthembaSa Where are the lions when needed ?

Another self entitled tourist in Kruger at a lion sighting…When cautioned about getting out of the car he pulled the middle finger accompanied by “Fck you”.Luckily he was stopped at the gate and paid R2500 fine. #KrugerIdiots

@janey_wayney13 🤣🤣

Geez there's some nasty sods on here aren't there? 🙄 Anyhoo, hope you've all had a good Tuesday & enjoy your evening 😘