GenZee Mom

@MikeBales 😂🤣🤣😂 Oh my God

A guy goes to City Hall to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "OK, have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says. "I was in Iraq for one tour." The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. You can start tomorrow at 10 a.m. and plan on starting at 10 a.m. every day." The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., why don't you want me here until 10 a.m.?" "This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

@Tobielobba You didn't She did not raise the boy properly. While children are destructive, I always make sure I tell mine the repercussions of every action and make sure to let them take the required penalty for their actions.

There's this woman who comes to help me with laundry every two weeks. She always brings her 4-year-old son, who plays with my daughter (same age). They watch cartoons, and I bring out toys, books, and her bicycle for them to play with together. Since he started coming, he’s destroyed so many things: my daughter’s big truck toy, building blocks, books, bicycle handle, and today he tore a letter out of her alphabet mat. I’ve lost count. My daughter doesn’t destroy stuff like that, so I’ve been patient, thinking “he’s just a kid.” But, today I calmly told her: “Please, next time don’t bring your son. Find somewhere for him to stay, because I can’t keep letting things get spoiled.” She immediately started giving me attitude and carrying on her face. Now I’m thinking, if she can’t come without him, I may have to stop giving her the work. Please, have I done anything wrong here? Be honest.

@iky_fwjett Smart ! My Son came home once told me a story about a boy that was reported a theft to the teacher and asked me how I can describe the boy. I said honest and courageous, he said ok Well he wrote it in his home work Obviously the teacher told them the same story and question 😂

I already knew my niece was smart, but something she did at the weekend pushed her into extreme intelligence for a 5 year old. We'd had a fun day playing when it was time for her to go home. She asked all of us (around ten adults) to play one last game, a colouring competition. Dealing out a sticker to sweeten the deal, we thought it was a ploy to get an extra ten minutes of play. We learnt the rules of the competition: We each had to draw a shape and write at the top of the page what it was. She would then judge the winner. So we all participated, drawing triangles, rhombus, hearts, etc. Then handed them to her. She collects them all up, but instead of judging them, neatly folds them, places them in an envelope, writes her name and 'shapes' on the front and yells "Homework done!" whilst running out the door.

@Omoilorin001 Congratulations my bro Nah drop of water dey make mighty ocean

Bye bye Adelabu 😭❤️ Congratulate me e no easy ooo

@_falsi1ke I am not after your body

Types of Scams: Send me your CV - Scam I'll get back to you - Scam Wish I met you b4 I met my wife - Scam I was on a call - Scam Your vote counts - Scam Add yours.

@pallnandi Me 👋

Some people can spend the whole day alone and not get bored, but get bored when someone visits them.

So who said you should ask kids to draw you if you want to sleep?? I just did and mine is showing me every single pencil stroke, arguing who has what drawing item and who would draw Mom perfectly 😭

@Subtlychaoticc Why are you not working with a Construction Company Sister This particular one would make my village road Aeroplaneable

I wasn’t even looking for anything. That’s the funny part. I went to his place like a normal girlfriend. Everything was calm. He was in the kitchen, I was in the room, and his dog was just staring at me like it had something to say. This dog doesn’t even like me like that, so I was already confused. Next thing, it stood up, started walking, then turned back to check if I was following. I don’t know why I followed it, curiosity sha. It took me straight to his wardrobe. I even laughed and said, “what is inside here?” The dog scratched the wardrobe door. At that point I knew this was weird. I opened it. Tell me why the first thing I saw was a bright pink satin bonnet I have NEVER seen before in my life. Not mine. Not anything I’ve ever worn. Not even my style. My heart didn’t even break yet, I was just confused. I picked it up and just stood there staring like explanation would appear. The dog sat beside me… watching… waiting… like it had been waiting for this moment. He walked in and saw me holding it. Silence. I asked calmly, “whose bonnet is this?” This man looked me in my eyes and said, “my cousin’s.” I didn’t shout. I just turned and looked at the dog. The dog barked immediately. No hesitation. That bark finished me 😭 Because why did it sound like “this man is lying”?? I asked him again. Same answer. “My cousin.” I dropped the bonnet back, closed the wardrobe, and carried my bag. No drama. The dog followed me to the door. Now the craziest part? As I was leaving, the dog didn’t follow him. It followed ME outside and stood there like it was making sure I actually left. That was when it hit me. Even the dog was tired of his nonsense. I didn’t argue. I didn’t cry there. I just left with my dignity and one solid realization: If a man is cheating, sometimes the only honest one in the house is the pet.

@SirDavidBent I really thank God for my kind of Mother sha She sef go fes arrest the Pastor for fraudulent thoughts

You recently built a house for your mum. She's very happy & goes to inform her pastor about it, so he can grace the house-warming ceremony. The pastor prays & prophesies that God showed him that your mother should gift him the house as a donation to the church & that you should build another one for your Mom. Your mother agrees with the pastor's prophecy and takes the house documents to him & donates it to the church. A day to the proposed house warming, she informs you of her action. What would be your reaction?

@Simon_Ingari 48hrs later I hack into their site Freeze it with ransomware and demand 15% shares of the company 🥱 Just active imagination I am no employee I am no hacker😂

2021: No salary increase 2022: No salary increase 2023: No salary increase 2024: No salary increase 2025: No salary increase 2026: Employee: “Kindly accept my resignation.” Boss: “But you’re doing such a great job! Why are you leaving?” Employee: “I’ve received a new job offer with a 65% salary increase, and there’s also a guaranteed annual raise based on performance.” 48 hours later…

@spleendistanbuI @Simon_Ingari Right!!!!

@Simon_Ingari Dude this is Twitter not Linkedin, I expected a happy ending in whiched the employee burned the office down and slept with his boss’ wife.

@Ian_San254 As a Mom My Second child was speaking before she took her first steps and very audible at that The day she walked She walked up to us and announced she could walk!!! She was 1 year and 3 months So why are people acting like 2 year olds can't talk? 😒

Today I met One of my Neighbors and She Was telling me how worried she is that her Two Year Old Kid hasn't Started talking. I Was Shocked too since anytime that kid visits me to hang we have Whole Conversations

@FCBhandbol We win everywhere We are Barcelona 💙❤️

𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐎𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐃𝐄 𝐋𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐈́𝐀 𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓/𝟐𝟔 🔥🔥🔥 3️⃣3️⃣ títols de Lliga 🏆 1️⃣6️⃣ campionats consecutius

@FCBarcelona Visca Barça 💙❤️

EL DERBI ÉS BLAUGRANA!!! 💙❤️

@RStamp5811 @mukyalaNeighbor 😂😂😂

@GenZeeMom @mukyalaNeighbor

Babies can take a whole bottle of milk while laying on their backs But as an adult you try to sip on water in the same position, and you end up fighting for your life Eh eh 😪😪😪😪😪😪

@jacob_makula @mukyalaNeighbor 😂😂😂😂

@GenZeeMom @mukyalaNeighbor Can you stop please 😂😂😂😂

@SueMghambi @mukyalaNeighbor 😂😂😂😂

@GenZeeMom @mukyalaNeighbor 😂😂😂

@bisinuolar @mukyalaNeighbor 😂😂😂😂

@GenZeeMom @mukyalaNeighbor Stop eeet! 😂😂😂

@JosephKgangyame @mukyalaNeighbor It's old age 😂😂

@GenZeeMom @mukyalaNeighbor Haha, dislocated!

Week that will be good is when Barcelona wins to start the week. Happy new week everyone 💙❤️