Jared Starkey

Which is me

I entered the #FridayFortyNYC for @HPPlayNYC on @TodayTix! Get tickets for performances next week at $40 ($20 per Part) #CursedChildNYC

Nobody: Me: JURASSIC PARK, THE MUSICAL

@notdandressel Sad boi

If you’re going to disrupt the subway with your speaker and “show” get your kip-up on the 1st try- not the 3rd.

@taydrumz Y’all thought it was finished

I found $10 in my apartment building and have never felt more blessed

*yells into void* “Give me purpose!”

@notdandressel Yes

If this guy mentions training for his marathon one more time on this train ride..

Someone care to tell me WHY none of these skills were used during the battle of winterfell !?!?

Retweeting because the world deserves to know! 😍

@notdandressel What

Them: Avenger’s Endgame is 3 hours and 2 minutes long Me: hey that’s great and all but how do you expect me to hold my pee for that long

@heygoodcoll “You don’t see your kids enough”

Trying to think of a good response for when the dentist inevitably tells me today that I don’t floss enough. So far I’ve got: “I know right”.

I entered the #FridayFortyNYC for @HPPlayNYC on @TodayTix! Get tickets for performances next week at $40 ($20 per Part) #CursedChildNYC

This is what happens when you ask friends for money- don’t do it. (Select responses)