Jedi Quest Bot

What did he know about leaps in intuition, dreams, risks, compulsions, knowing a step could mean disaster but taking it anyway? What did he know, Anakin thought bitterly, about guilt?

He felt the Force around him and in him. In moments like this, Anakin felt capable of anything. The Force was like a gifted companion, a far-seeing guide, a power that gave his muscles strength and his mind and heart vision and will. He felt at the center of the moving Force.

Ferus was questioning every detail of what he had learned as though he were a Jedi Master and Anakin was his Padawan.

Anakin looked down, struggling to accept the order. "As you wish, Master."

"It’s just that I fear for Gillam. He thinks he is an adult. He is only sixteen." He glanced at the datascreen and his gaze softened. "I know what that is like," Obi-Wan said, thinking of Anakin.

Anakin was sixteen years old. Impatience was wired into his being. Despite Anakin’s strong Force connection, it would most likely take years before he developed true inner balance. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, was supposed to have it already.

Obi-Wan suddenly pounded against the ship’s wall with his lightsaber hilt as they bounced down the mountain, swept along by the lava flow. Anakin had never seen his Master give way to his anger before.

There had been a time, Anakin reflected, when Obi-Wan’s kindness would have made everything better. Now he appreciated it, but it did not make a dent in his own guilt. Obi-Wan wanted to help him, but Anakin did not want his help. Anakin did not know why.

Sorrow and guilt filled him up so far he felt he was drowning. And then there was an explosion of light and sorrow…He had lost, in fact, everyone he loved, including Obi-Wan.

He reached inside the pocket of his tunic and withdrew a small, smooth stone. It was a river rock, a present from Obi-Wan. It had belonged to Qui-Gon. The rock was Force-sensitive, but that was not why Anakin reached for it during times of stress.

Inside him blazed the memory of every battle with Omega. From the beginning Omega had set out to confound him, humiliate him, destroy him.

"Anakin will reach us." Obi-Wan’s voice was steady. "Through sheer rock?" Soara asked.

Yet how can I stop him from doing so, if I blame him myself? Blame was not something a Jedi was supposed to feel. Obi-Wan knew he was wrong.

That was the way of the Jedi. Accept the mistake and move on. But Obi-Wan’s mind was a blank.

Anakin shook his head. "That’s hard for me. I want to know everything." "That is a quality I treasure in you," Obi-Wan said. "But it is also a quality you must learn to control." He gave Anakin a significant look. "There are things you keep from me, too."

You started out as a Padawan thinking you would lead a life of service and adventure, and you pictured your successes to come, not your failure. Successes could be daydreamed about in a vague way, but failures were more particular. The couldn't be envisioned

Anakin met his gaze boldly. He would not back down. Obi-Wan saw that clearly. He would not allow the moment to pass. He would grab on to it, extend it, bend it to his will. He would do anything to obtain what he wanted.

Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet and didn’t get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye.

How does one teach loyalty and self-sacrifice? Obi-Wan wondered. Was it something that could be taught? The mission teaches when I cannot.

It wasn’t that Obi-Wan lacked compassion, Anakin mused. It was just that there was a little more distance between him and other living beings. Qui-Gon had not been able to pass along his connection to the Living Force to his Padawan, Anakin felt.