Murph

@yesimjustamom I don’t think age matters. If your kid is 12, they are in daycare.

Personal opinion…but…if your kid is 2, they are not in preschool. They are in daycare. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I went to a library story hour today. 75% nannys, 24% moms, 1% grandparents. Women now spend $300+ for baby “music” classes, nature “sensory” classes, or gymnastics for a 12mo just to feel any sense of connection with other women. There is no community so people pay to find one.

The problem is that raising young children is not only exhausting but lonely. A woman can go to the office and 9/10 times the work is easier, she'll get a social life from it, and she can come home and do what she wants. And that doesn't even take into consideration the disposable income factor. Yes, this is all less rewarding and joyful than raising kids but the burden is real. Women need community. They need more than just help, they need other moms around them who they can relate to and empathize with. If they don't have this they not only get burned out, they push their negative emotions onto their husband. Observe the level of stress a mom has when she is chatting or tidying up with a friend while their kids play vs when she is by herself. It's night and day. Creating not simply female spaces but spaces for MOMS is one of the biggest ROIs we can be making to change the culture around having children and improve the birthrate.

These things make you see how student learning is not the priority of the current system.

@made_in_cosmos Nah. My new mom group has been invaluable. It’s more about closeness of others going through the same thing than getting advice.

new mom support groups are an anti-pattern. y'all don't want to sit with a bunch of other first time parents spiraling on how overwhelmed you are, what you really need is to hang out with some seasons moms and grandmas who have seen it all

@BoringBiz_ “If you’re a SAAS product that charges a lot of money, and people don’t use a lot of your features then you are a target to be ripped out.” Salesforce is the epitome of an expensive, bloated product that customers use 10% of.

This is the best explanation I have heard of how AI is impacting the software landscape. Not just the stocks, but the actual fundamentals of the businesses underneath From AI Czar David Sacks himself "You take a product like Salesforce that deals with all your customer contracts and revenue. You are not going to replace that with code that has been spit out of a coding assistant that has not been fully vetted Think about how many bug reports on Salesforce's code base over the last 25 years. Maybe millions of them. That system has been tested across thousands of large customers and enterprises The idea that you are just going to rip out that system and replace with code that has been probabilistically generated by an AI engine yesterday, with a small team to maintain it internally, just does not seem realistic to me"

@sivori I mean a 5 year old in an antique store is a liability ha. I used to hate antique stores but now I see the value in being bored. We ended up building some incredible rock displays 😂

@MsMurph_ That's intense.

I’m a big believer in making my kids wait. When we go get haircuts I sometimes bring all four even if only two are getting haircuts. 1. because I want to help my wife have some alone time and 2. I want them all to learn how to wait patiently. They’ll sit there without books or screens and rawdog 15-30 minutes. Important to get accustomed to being alone with your thoughts.

“Time is a compression algorithm that prevents everything from happening at once.”

The first 3 months were the hardest time in my life. The lack of sleep was absolutely grueling. Now at 12mos, it feels like that time was a required mechanism to break my selfishness. Many think having kids makes the world contract, but it actually rapidly expands when suddenly it’s not all about yourself.

I talk to a lot of people in their late twenties and early thirties who are thinking about having children, but are hesitating. They worry about sleep deprivation. They worry about losing a lifestyle they enjoy. They worry about the weight of responsibility in those early months. Here’s how I think about it. The first weeks, and sometimes the first months, can be brutal on sleep. Especially for the mother, but often for the father as well. The sleeplessness is not fun. I care a lot about sleep. However, I once heard the challenge framed in a way that stuck with me. The first year is the period when a child has the greatest need for care. If you live to be 100, which is increasingly common, that is one year out of a hundred. So the question becomes simple. Over the course of your life, do you want children? Do you want grandchildren someday? If you do, can you accept a season of rough sleep and high need as part of the exchange? Even within that first year, it starts to get more rewarding. The baby begins to respond. They babble more. You see recognition. You see personality turning on. When the toddler stage arrives, many parents experience it as genuinely fun. A lot of this is calibrating expectations. If someone is attached to a particular lifestyle, they may become resentful when the reality of children presses in. But for many people, by their late twenties or early thirties, the lifestyle question changes. How long do I want to keep doing the same thing? What kind of life am I building toward? Is all this hustle necessary? One thing that helps, especially in the early stages, is to allow yourself to be fascinated by children. I am fascinated by newborns. Eye contact. Facial expression. The moment focus begins. The way a baby seems to wake up into a world that is still indistinct, yet immediately searches for faces and eyes. Watching that development in my children and grandchildren has been extraordinary. This is a lifetime adventure. In many ways, it is the most important journey many of us will take. The question is not, “How do I preserve my lifestyle?” It is, “How do I participate in helping this unique human being live a flourishing life?” For me, it is fundamentally fun. I love children.

This bodes ill. Readers used to outnumber non-readers 2 to 1. Now non-readers outnumber readers 3 to 1. It's hard to imagine a change of that magnitude not having significant effects.

I went to boarding school. It was an incredible experience with amazing teachers and the greatest friends from all over the world. Although I loved home and my parents, the schools in our rural town were low quality and homeschooling or moving were inferior options for our situation. Going to boarding school was my favorite time in life. Now as a parent myself, I do feel bad particularly for my own mother to miss so much time with us though.

The fact that people actually send their children to boarding school is insane to me.

@chrisman People will always fight because the purpose of education has no consensus.

We will always fight about education because education could always be better. There is no limit.

My dad payed us per A. I’m confident that it just fed an obsession with grades over learning. It would be interesting to see what the result would be for test score compensation though. For many it might work to get basic knowledge. For me I think I would’ve crammed for the test and forgotten everything after. Which is what I did anyways because I wanted an A.

It’s controversial but I think you could fix American education entirely by paying kids to learn. Outlaw grades and homework. Only standardized tests. Pay kids to raise scores. $1,000 per grade level in math and English. Do 3 grade levels in 3 months, earn $3k.

@KelseyTuoc Everyone likes to hate on their CRM and yet it really is the keystone workhorse of the organization.

One thing that founding the microschool drove home to me is how real email jobs are. We wanted to keep costs extremely low, so we had parent volunteers do all admin for the school. It's going really well, but it's an insane amount of work. 🧵

@rebelEducator The structure is purely operationally scalable and has nothing to do with educational outcomes.

Forcing thirty kids in a classroom to all learn at exactly the same pace is a crime against the human intellect.

@megdscott @smorrisey @Eduventuring04 Wouldn’t you want some above “grade level” to know who is exceeding? Or are you saying the whole test is written that way?

@smorrisey @Eduventuring04 @MsMurph_ Don’t forget that most tests are written at above grade level. The third grade tests consisted of passages written at 4th to 6th grade level. We are already setting kids up for failure.

Why does no one bring this up as a counter when test score declines make the headlines? Is there any decent research on this?

@thedankoe North County is awesome. Lofty Coffee in Encinitas for meetings and bites. Fish 101 in Cardiff for insane fish burritos. Le Papagao in Leucadia for dinner and live music and old school vibes. Best gym is the ocean.

Moved to San Diego yesterday. What are the best spots? Best gyms? Best food? Any creator/entrepreneur hotspots?

I’m starting to think that the decline in our ability to focus is the main reason for declining student achievement, behavior, and really anything in the education system. I have zero research to back that up though.

@micsolana You’re largely paying for the network.

this latest explosion of the "my grades are incredible and I didn't get into any great colleges" discourse has been totally depressing. I genuinely thought we all realized higher education was a racket back during covid. stop consigning your children to debt slavery.

Another thought … is it intentional to not truly have measurable results? If enough variables change, there are infinite angles of blame from any side and infinite “solutions” that can be sold in.