the Gosh Darn Comedy Barn

LA comedy Headliner: If you guys do not stop interrupting I will actually just stop and walk out of here (mature decision) Houston Headliner: I’ll beat your ass in the lobby while the host stretches and then ill come back inside and finish my hour (funny decision)

@steponshoez Do you guys not recognize don barris

Piper Rockelle’s 58-year-old TOP spender REFUNDED ALL the money he sent to her after she REVEALED her REAL TOP spender was Charlie Kirk, who SPENT $3.2M on her DESPITE NEVER meeting OR speaking to her 😳🤯 “A lot of my money comes from Charlie Kirk, my top spender. He’s spent $3.2M since I turned 18.” “Our relationship is done. I’m refunding all the money and starting a family.”

I would love to see the Backwoods CEO have to taste test the new Wild N Mild

My brother in law is friends/works with every management or talent agency in LA, has never tried to help me, mocks my wife and I for taking the cheapest flights to holidays - but he did give me some valuable showbiz advice when I wanted to quit! “its all about who you know!”

@SandyofCthulhu Italy is a footballing powerhouse AND a latin speaking country- and they call it Calcio

Americans call it “soccer” because when it came to the USA, the common UK slang for the sport was “soccer” and we kept it. We called it “soccer” before the UK called it football. So screw you guys.

My wife used to say I had a monster cock. But after a decade together shes more honest, and says I have a very scary penis #คิมซูฮยอน

Damn there’s probably no wait at the Nobu in Malibu right now

My hitman’s name just so happens to be Patsy- so it is possible guys

@daveleedwnundr NERD ALERT this guy loves paying for shit!!

So now we’re just openly bragging about piracy now? Cool cool.

Women B Shitting

How come theres never a “British part of town” or a Lil Paris?

My homebrew conspiracy theory is that both campaigns paid RFK to run as a spoiler candidate without the other one knowing

My roommate said he mostly be jackin it to the dead porn stars. Im no snitch but thats something I gotta tell the FBI about right?

dark humor enthusiasts when the joke isn’t about minorities

I only really consider killing myself when sports aren’t on. I have Off Seasonal affective disorder

“I’m tryna have some gay sex with a man- PAUSE” -guy who thinks he’s getting into slang

Only group more hated than cops #standupcomedy #cops #teachers

Why do all presidential assassins have 3 names? Except Sirhan Sirhan, he had 1 name two times

What if Trump loses Pennsylvania by one vote?

@Common_sense776 @Mudkipstoat23 @DDiggitydog @ItsPhantom48 @DanPriceSeattle Ya the richest guy in the world need your help to pay his employees. Gud math

@Mudkipstoat23 @DDiggitydog @ItsPhantom48 @DanPriceSeattle Elmo? Oh boy you've really got a ego-tripped chubby for Musk don't you? lol Yes, he does. Employs 1500 ppl at "X" who have nothing to do with his erratic behavior. I use X premium for the trading groups. Many of which require blue checks to see their posts. Tax deductible 😉

Denver gave homeless people $1,000 a month, no strings attached. A year later: *45% secured housing *Taxpayers saved $590k because of fewer visits to the hospital, jail and shelters *People used the money on groceries, rent, hygiene, clothes and transportation *Mental health improved and they could spend more time with their kids and grandkids Amazing what happens when you give people a chance