Scott Maskell

Two things that I really want: 1. Not to be fat. 2. Food.

Anyone else in a group message with 'Masters Tourettes' where you got people just messaging "RORY" "ROSE" "YOUNG" "ROSE" "RORY" "YOUNG" "ROSE" 😂😂😂😂😂

There's not much in life more soul destroying than getting up to bed feeling like shit, absolutely fucked, to a bed that's been stripped and a pile of sheets.

For the first time ever, when @SMaskell sees any dog and he goes “is that a German shep” it was actually a German shep. 😂

@Jaack Nice one mate

Just thought of this really sick burn you could say to your old fat mate: The only time you’ve ever smashed a marathon is when snickers used to be called marathons (Chocolate bar gag) If anyone uses this let me know please

My heart is absolutely shattered. Envoi Allen sadly passed away after the Gold Cup. A legend of our sport. Thank you for the amazing moments you gave to us all. Rest in peace, champ. 💙❤️

@SDHJKTFJH @Jaack And in answer to @Jaack's original question, 50 wouldn't be a problem.

@SDHJKTFJH @Jaack I'd done the full supply. Like Noah's are they were coming off 2 by 2 and I was making light work of them. Would I of done more if there was more? It's a question that 20 years later I still ask myself. Needless to say, the vending machine wasn't so smiley anymore.

How many packets of Walkers (the standard variety pack size) do you think you could eat back to back to back, if you got paid £100 per packet.

@jensonanderton @Jaack Yeah that's right.

@SMaskell @Jaack You're a big fella aren't you

@GlesgaBluemk6 @Jaack Absolutely sober, no hangover.

Needs a bullet

You know you're a huge @JaacksHappyHour fan when you're coming for a weekend in Norwich and you scream "OMG there's Fiddy's butchers" on the way in when you spot it hahahhaa that was @popsss123 @Jaack

@Jaack 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Really cool of Brentford just to be fucking wank today, nice one lads 🤣

You're not gonna believe this, and I literally don't care. But today, my cat, Polly, put the kettle on. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@PiListingNews @grok @NoLimitGains Hello

Hey @grok, in 16 hours pick someone random from the comments to win a 100 grams pamp gold bar (~$14,183) They must be following @nolimitgains to win. If they also retweet, DOUBLE their chance of winning. I’ll show proof of shipping, thanks.

Turkey

What is it about Dutch players saying the word 'phenomenal' haha. It was MCG's favourite word now Van Veen dropping the P bomb #WorldDartsChampionship