Slut Benwalla

Some days you're the hammer, and some days you're the nail. And some days you're the stud on top of which all of that is happening.

I really want one of those chocolate butthole molds for Valentine's Day. Ladies?

A broken cock is still right twice a day.

I swipe left. Then I swipe right. Then left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right, right right. Left, left, right. All of this on your clit.

I told a girl that I’ve been trying to have sex with her for ten years. She said, “I didn’t feel anything.” #dadjokes

@evasurga You're perceptive.

@MegaplexSA This is the hottest protest. I wish someone would protest on me.

@evasurga Guilty as charged.

Today is #NationalSendNudesDay RT to spread awareness

Is it #TittyTuesday already?????

Female fans of furries are going to rub one out tonight. #IntoTheWoods

Picture my penis. Wrong. Stranger.

If you’re used to eating cold Pop-Tarts, the first time you heat one up is like the first time you have sex without a condom.

Have you ever met someone that makes you want to just run home and masturbate the rest of the day?

Right now mashups are the hot thing. I’m going to mash my penis up with your vagina.

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up with your dick harder than the underwater level in NES Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I'm going to get the Gattaca surgery on my penis.

This girl just lectured me about getting a PS4 over an Xbox One and my penis cumbusted [sic].