Splatoon Ohio

grand festival could have some dire outcomes

@SaltSeagull Yes

We did this by design because we hate everyone :)

shiver won because we hate you and never want you to feel happy

Some Americans are so unfamiliar with trains that they can’t even image their existence.

SRL Splatfest Team here with an update on the results for the latest Splatfest. Team Bigfoot? More like Team Big Fucking Disappointment. The winner of this Splatfest was Team Nessie, followed by Team Aliens, and then the 2 people on Team Bigfoot. The real myth was Team Bigfoot.

SRL Head of Social Media Here. Just wanted to say that we’re so glad this platform is dying, we’re tired of hearing “unbalanced this” and “broken that” and “I unironically use a clash blaster in ranked”

Big news from SRL! We are happy to announce big balancing changes in the next update. We will be removing ink and weapons, as we have found that including these leads to imbalance. Happy Splatting!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: To the person who posted Callie x Marie shipping art, our lead shipper Gary had a heart attack when he saw it. We will find you.

The losing team for this Splatfest will, in fact, be shipped out to a remote desolate island, but there will be no gear, food, or fun. Also the island will be on fire. Happy Splatting!

Anyone who spoils the story mode will be banished to Ohio. We know who you are, and you’ll wake up in front of the “HELL IS REAL” sign tomorrow, mark our words.

T-minus 6 days until we let EVERYONE down

@3p1c_Studios Very.

Big Man is very disappointed you all let him down. He will remember this.

forehead

Excited to say that we will be having a Splatoon 3 Direct tomorrow at 9am Ohio time! It will include 3 seconds of gameplay and then a 10 minute test fire beta! Then we will cancel Splatoon 3 and proceed to Splatoon 16.

Cancelling Splatoon 3. Got a headache.

In Splatoon 3, instead of offering apartments to customize, we are happy to announce that your inkling will instead experience crippling debt and homelessness.

Squid Research Lab Ohio is excited to announce that we will be releasing Splatoon 3 on 9/9/23 in Ohio so everyone else can actually enjoy the game for a while!

We regret to inform you that Little Buddy will no longer be included in Splatoon 3. In unrelated news, the Squid Research Lab had a wonderful Salmon dinner last night! Happy Splatting!