Alex

Didn’t take a birthday selfie for three years and now we’re here. Still tired, hair better.

@hephaestiyum These rule!!!

My nails were good tonight

@hephaestiyum Omg tailor made for you

@hephaestiyum YES!!!!

ALEX!! our show is on!!

@hephaestiyum Begging you to be in marginally more clothing for the inevitable next time, I cannot have you dying by king brown

This must be the 6th time, and aside from getting constant confirmation that he's a natural killing machine, it also confirmed that I'll 100% die one day trying to save my pets, because wtf was i doing.

My beautiful baby boy fought an eastern brown again today (and lived!) He somehow has 9 lives, because his bloods came back good. Normal clotting etc. I ran out there in my jeans and a bra and ripped that very alive snake out of his mouth with my bare hand. Oof.

Dramatically changing the tone of the karaoke evening by doing Suicidal Tendencies ‘Institutionalised’

@hephaestiyum Establishing a complex series of catch 22s for my fave’s friends and lovers to fall into so I can get really mad

@hephaestiyum Honestly, I have a free day. It might not be an oil painting but, I think I can work this up lol

@alekshjohnson an oil painting of him as saint sebastian shipped to his address

@hephaestiyum Obviously he is Satan and must be punished

@alekshjohnson I've only seen this man in one other show that I didn't even like. I am truly an outsider, forced to see and comment on this silly shit. How are you going to wish death on the guy for a COMPLIMENT 😭

@hephaestiyum Oooh I really like the decomposition books

My statement in response to the racist decision to cancel me from Adelaide Writers' Week.

Exiting Turnstile yesterday we walked past a kid complaining that “the pit was full of 90 zillion over thirties… gross!!!” And look, the way I’m complaining about my neck this morning… sure, yeah

My hair is incredibly grown out and I will be telling my perfect angel hairdresser next time I see her.

My New Year’s Day has been perfect in the sense that an extremely hot gay man pulled me aside on the dance floor to tell me that he was a hairdresser and that my haircut was good and that I was pretty.

@hephaestiyum I support it

@hephaestiyum Jumpscare hahaha

This description of nick is very important to me. A true writer.

When I tell you my girlfriend sent me a picture of herself in a Donald Duck Halloween costume with the caption “do you think I’m sexy?”, I need to assure you that whatever you think I might mean, by ‘Donald Duck costume’ you are wrong.

7.30 interviewing the “young Liberals trying to make the party appealing again” without asking a single one of them what they actually believe in. Incredible stuff.

Showing my almost 70 year old father Bayang tha Bushranger’s Bars of Steel vid because I thought he’s like the lyrics. I am correct. “It’s relatable…[under his breath] big up Canterbury Bankstown”