Dr. Adam Stone

@Simon_Ingari Used to work as a recruiter. My candidates who accepted counter offers were often reaching out a few months after declining a job offer I sourced them for. Amazing how well regarded professionals fall for this so often.

Employee: Here is my two weeks’ resignation notice. HR Manager: You didn’t tell me you were planning to leave. Employee: Yes, I wanted to wait until the right time. HR Manager: The right time? Employee: I’m joining a new company with a better offer. HR Manager: How much are they offering you? Employee: It’s 170,000—a solid jump from my current 100,000. HR Manager: We can give you a no-brainer offer—190,000. Employee: In that case, I’ll stay and accept your offer. HR Manager: Thank you. You’re one of our top performers, and we can’t afford to lose you. Employee: I knew I could count on you. Four months later…↓

@Simon_Ingari The number of times a client has dragged out the hiring process and then complained that the successful candidate can’t start the day after he accepts the offer (even if it involves relocation) always astounded me.

HR: What is your notice period? Candidate: 60 days. HR: Is it negotiable? Candidate: No. HR: Sorry, we’re looking for someone who can join within 30 days. Candidate: May I ask a question? HR: Sure. Candidate: What’s the notice period in your company? HR : ↓↓↓

@krassenstein Isn’t this something cops may ask you to do as evidence you’re not too impaired to drive?

BREAKING: At his cabinet meeting, Trump just bragged about how hard the mathematical equations of his cognitive test that he passed were. FACT: The hardest mathematical equation on such a test is referred to as the “Serial 7s” Test: You start at 100 and keep subtracting 7, out loud: 100 → 93 → 86 → 79 → 72 → 65 → 58 → This is literally what he’s bragging about. My seven-year-old could do this.

“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time!”

@Thebestfigen My dog used to love veggies. A baby carrot or radish was a nice treat for her. She never cared about cucumbers though.

When your vegetarian friends invite you over for dinner.

@atrupar “We think Joe Biden was a bad president, so Trump can do whatever he wants.” This isn’t the air tight argument he seems to think it is.

Hegseth: "I heard the question about 4 weeks. It's the typical NBC gotcha-type question. President Trump has all the latitude in the world to talk about how long it may or may not take. 4 weeks, 2 weeks, 6 weeks. It could move up, it could move back. We're gonna execute at his command ... Joe Biden didn't even know what he was doing"

@BasedMikeLee Clown with a short, selective memory.

I’ve been to 16 of these I’ve never seen Republicans behave like this during a Democrat SOTU Never Yet the MSM says nothing Why?

Remember when we learned that our wealthiest and most powerful people were connected to a guy who ran a literal child sex trafficking ring? And then that guy died mysteriously in a jail? And now we just don't talk about it.

@Kanew I’ve never done either, but if I did, I’d like to think I wouldn’t use that information unprompted as proof I’m not a germaphobe.

I’ve never done heroin or snorted cocaine off a toilet seat but if I did I’d like to think I would have enough humility to say I probably shouldn’t be secretary of the health and human services department at that point

@Simon_Ingari Separate but related issue. I have had a few bosses who take undue credit for my ideas that turn out well but also blame me for ideas that don’t work out (sometimes even if the idea was the manager’s, not mine). Do that once and I will never speak up again.

"Why does our top performer get the worst reviews?" the boss asked. I was reviewing their annual performance data. "Show me," I said. She pulled up the ratings. Diana: 2.8 out of 5. Below average on "collaboration." Low marks for "team player." "What's her actual performance?" I asked. "Exceeded every target. Landed our biggest client. Trained three new hires." "So why the low scores?" "Her peer reviews are dragging her down." I scanned the comments. "Too direct." "Challenges ideas too much." "Not supportive enough." "Let me talk to Diana," I said. "I used to give honest feedback," Diana told me. "Said our pricing model was broken. Got dinged for 'negativity.'" "What happened with the pricing?" "They finally fixed it six months later. After we lost two major accounts." "What else?" "I questioned why we needed eleven approvals for a simple contract change. Manager said I wasn't being collaborative." "Are you still giving feedback?" "No. I learned my lesson. Now I smile. Nod. Say everything's great. My reviews are improving." "But nothing's actually improving?" "We're making the same mistakes. Just with better vibes." She chuckled. I went back to the boss. "Your review system doesn't measure performance," I said. "It measures compliance." "That's not true." "When was the last time someone got promoted for challenging bad ideas?" Silence. "When did someone get rewarded for preventing a mistake?" More silence. "You've trained your best people to stay quiet. And your mediocre people to stay nice." A few months later, they redesigned the system. Added a category: "Constructive Challenge." Points for identifying problems early. Rewards for preventing costly mistakes. Diana got promoted. "What changed?" I asked the boss. "We stopped confusing agreement with alignment. Stopped mistaking silence for harmony." "And?" "Turns out our 'difficult' people were our most valuable. They actually cared enough to speak up." Here's the truth about performance reviews: Most companies don't reward performance. They reward performance theater. The person who says the meeting was great beats the person who says it wasted an hour. The person who agrees with bad ideas beats the person who prevents disasters. You think you're measuring contribution. You're measuring conformity. And your best people? They've already figured out the game. They're just deciding whether to play it or find somewhere that values truth over comfort.

@OrdinaryGamers Either that, or it’s something so bad that the lesser of two evils for him is to let people believe he raped kids rather than know the truth.

yeah i think it's pretty confirmed now he raped kids.

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

@mrmikeMTL Stocks, bonds, commodities.

You have $8 Million and 2 hours to spend it. No houses, No Cars. What are you buying?

@HawkEmDownChris True. Willie Fraser from Newburgh, NY pitched for the Angels and a couple other teams. He was a few years ahead of me in school. He worked out of the bullpen in middle relief.

True or False: Someone that attended your high school became a professional athlete.

@streetbrawls97 I love that the guy doesn’t even put the plastic bags in his left hand down. 🤣

Who got humbled quicker?

‘Tough’ guy talking big on the sidewalk… got humbled quick when karma showed up 😂👊 #InstantKarma #KarmaKnockout #StreetLessons #PlayStupidGames

@Acyn “I’ve got a bunch of other things going on” is going to be my new “go to” response when someone asks me a question I can’t answer.

Stephanopoulos: He said, you cannot credibly argue that drug trafficking charges demand invasion in one case while issuing a pardon in another. What's your response? Rubio: In the case of Maduro, look, it's very simple. This guy was indicted. Stephanopoulos: Hernandez was convicted by a jury. Rubio: I can't just comment on it because I just wasn't involved in those deliberations. Stephanopoulos: Do you support it? Rubio: I wasn't involved in those deliberations. I haven't looked at the case file. I haven't looked at the arguments made by—I've got a bunch of other things going on

growing up i never thought i'd ever see the fifa peace prize desecrated like this

@dr_jon_l Somehow, after getting the shot and all boosters, I continue to live and exercise regularly at the age of 56.

Sound off if you're vaccinated against COVID and still alive January 2026!

@ATRightMovies share.google/DJaP1VxsPS64Xm…

@JoeLeydon @PollSter_Mike1 General Buck Turgidson himself.

@PollSter_Mike1 Dr. Strangelove

Without saying Anatomy of a Murder, what's the first role you think of for George C. Scott?