Leana Drinkham

Frozen indian food be like microwave for 8 minutes and then by minute 3 its smoking and boiling

When the bride walks down the aisle but the bridesmaids already got me bricked up #Pointless

Beer tastes so good when you don’t have a bitch in your ear telling you it’s 9AM

Sometimes you go to Walmart and it ruins the rest of your entire life

Flying on an airplane can be a frightening experience before you realize the other passengers aren’t trying to hurt you on purpose; sometimes they will even want to help.

My statistics professor is so chill He let us go to recess 5 minutes before the other business and psychology majors

Just ate the Temu ramen and all my body hair fell off

Trying to conserve water while using ChatGPT by just nutting directly into my phones charging port

Forrest Gump: the FBI gave me a pistol and told me to shoot a man named Malcolm X they said he was a mean man saying rude things about white people even other blacks like minister farrakhan thought he needed a spanking Me: *checking watch* where is this fucking bus dude

In 2016 u would be on the bus at 7:30AM sitting between a wigger rolling up green swishers and a bulimic girl wearing a tail and it smelled like an Indonesian death camp and it was 97 degrees No AC No water No breakfast Backpack falling apart And u werent allowed to kill yourself

Dudes will put on ricks and some skinny jeans well im definitely mortyfied

Obliterate philadelphia if Im wrong but isnt the sky green

When the pussy sucks so you just fuck her Roomba

Hoverboarding to DUI class

Doing a charity run and riding my hoverboard the entire time

[Throwing an Advil Liqui-gel into a buskers guitar case] God bless you brotha

Taking vyvanse and a Press X to Interact sign starts hovering over my pussy

I wouldn’t say I have an encyclopedic knowledge of Cum Town, but I would say I have a Proustian knowledge of it, where certain words or phrases or sounds will activate the latent agents deep in the recesses of my brain.

Me with clavicular

@calmbeast59 Youre about to start your period

Came so hard I almost had a seizure