Seinfeld Tweets

No, no, I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.

If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

He's a male bimbo...He's a mimbo!

You may know it better as Myanmar, but it'll always be Burma to me.

Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

I don't know if it's possible, but could you people conduct the psychopath convention down the hall?

Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool.

Speaking of ex's, my ex-boyfriend came over late last night, and, yada yada yada, anyway. I'm really tired today.

I've always been a stall man.

You're killing independent George.

This is our best model: The Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like...you're almost glad to be handicapped.

Vomitting is not a deal breaker. If Hitler had vomitted on Chamberlain, Chamberlain still would have given him Czechoslovakia.

You, my friend, have crossed the line between man and bum.

Somewhere in this hospital, the anguished squeal of Pigman cries out!

The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!

The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli!

I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose protege is a hack.